Who is the best player in the world we could realistically buy?

I think Goetze would become our highest paid player, but not by much. £100k a week probably. That would start a wage carousel, though, of players demanding an increase.

 

I don't think he would, he is a very humble kid, only staying atdortmund because he wants to stay with his fam - 70k

 

We would have to pay a lot more than £30 million to persuade Dortmund to sell, and that doesn't take in to account whether he would even want to come here.

 

We can't sign a player called Goetze.

The jokes would be unbearable.