What We Already Know In Figures And Endless BORING Tables And A Picture Of Mila Kunis Naked

TheJudeanPeoplesFront · Jun 21, 2015

JakartaToon said: ↑

JPF - we had a vote which I lost so I have read through your post. While there are lots of interesting statistics there are three fundamental flaws in this:
1) the heading on your last graph should be millions spent per point won
2) An additional useful statistic would be millions net spend per point won as this would identify the clubs who develop their players best and still remain competitive
3) finally I also spotted the error that a number of posters also spotted in their in-depth reviews - there are no naked photos of Mila Kunis so you should probably change the title
You also need to quote your sources or you might be accused of plagiarism. I cant believe you had time to compile this all on your own while still maintaining a fully functional and fully occupied sex dungeon or have you lost the key AGAIN? It just goes to show that sexual depravity and Alzheimers dont mix.
Consequently can you go back and correct the errors and ommissions i have identified and your submission will then be accepted for The Not606 Journal Of Football Science
Click to expand...

Cheers Jakarta! I changed that table heading

I originally had a millons (net spend) per pts column, but I received two texts while I was completing this, one from a suitably enraged girlfriend insisting I had been ignoring her all day and that I should make love with her immediately to correct this egregious oversight, and one was from Obi saying exactly the same thing...

Booooo... You sound just like my old University professors!

MF SHAK · Jun 21, 2015

TheJudeanPeoplesFront said: ↑

Ok, so you're a Newcastle fan, and you think our club has been run by the most singularly unambitious cheapskates known to human existence, and that we've slowly become a selling club, a finishing school for the potentially gifted, and about as tight-fisted as a Mackem winger offering gyno-services to kids.... Well you're wrong. Yeah, how do you feel about that, wise-guy?

Actually, you aren't, I just wanted to see your face when I said that (check the rustling of bushes outside...)... Here's a table to confirm your suspicions:

# Nett Spend 03/04 - 13/14
-----Team-------------Purchased---Sold-----Nett-------Per Season

1 Chelsea--------------£924M---- £352M---£571M-------£48M
2 Manchester City----£796M-----£228M---£568M-------£47M
3 Manchester United-£593M----£284M----£309M-------£26M
4 Liverpool-------------£608M-----£372M----£236M-------£20M
5 Aston Villa-----------£245M-----£114M----£132M------£11M
6 Sunderland----------£230M-----£134M----£96M--------£8M
7 Tottenham-----------£502M-----£410M----£91M--------£8M
8 Stoke City------------£107M-----£20M-----£86M--------£7M
9 Arsenal----------------£391M----£308M----£83M--------£7M
10 QPR------------------£121M----£40M-----£80M---------£7M
11 Hull City (Where I got the table from ****ed up their figures, but it assures me they're 11th)
12 West Ham----------£180M-----£112M---£69M---------£6M
15 West Brom---------£112M-----£66M-----£46M---------£4M
14 Lieicester-----------£41M-------£11M-----£31M---------£3M
15 Everton-------------£193M-----£164M-----£29M--------£2M
16 Crystal Palace-----£70M------£44M------£26M---------£2M
17 Newcastle----------£226M-----£211M----£15M---------£1M
18 Swansea------------£77M------£63M------£12M---------£1M
19 Southampton------£164M------£155M-----£9M---------£800K
20 Burnley-------------£28M--------£30M-(profit)£1M------- (profit)£100K
*apologies for any discrepancies. I rounded up figures to make it easier to understand (for Surprised Pervert).

So, since the last glory-days anyone associated with this club can remember, we've spent the 9th most amount of money on players (behind Sunderland... but they did employ Jabba the Bruce for a few seasons, so let's not get too jealous of all those Man Utd rejects)... but also cashed in the 7th highest total (behind Man City, Arsenal, Man Utd, Spurs, Liverpool and Chelsea... teams that spend vast fortunes on players, and will inevitably recoup some when they move on seconds later). So, either we're about as loyal to our players as Cheick Tiote is to his two wives and Papiss is to his multitude of concubines, or since Sir Bob we've quite simply not adopted an ethic of honing a team, but instead we're an amsterdam-red-light-district-esque tourist peep show for premier league scouts.

So, now I have you suitably enthralled with things you definitely didn't know, let's check over the last five seasons, and see where our wealthy billionaire benefactor has us in the table of net spend per season (I bet you're surprised):

Last 5 Seasons:

#Net Spend last 5 Years

-----Team---------------------Purchased-------Sold-------Nett------------Per Season
1Manchester City------------£475M----------£147M----£328M----------£66M
2Chelsea----------------------£499M----------£226M----£272M----------£55M
3Manchester United---------£356M----------£83M-----£274M----------£55M
4Liverpool---------------------£352M-----------£222M---£130M----------£26M
5Arsenal-----------------------£258M----------£162M----£96M-----------£19M
6West Ham-------------------£95M-----------£13M------ £82M-----------£16M
7QPR--------------------------£107M----------£39M------£68M-----------£13M
8Stoke City--------------------£61M-----------£8M--------£54M----------£11M
9Hull City (Honestly, they must have something against Hull)
10Crystal Palace------------£54M-----------£19M-------£35M-----------£7M
11Southampton--------------£140M--------£106M------£34M------------£7M
12Aston Villa-----------------£104M---------£72M-------£32M------------£7M
13Sunderland-----------------£118M--------£89M-------£29M------------£6M
14Leicester---------------------£33M---------£4M---------£29M-----------£6M
15West Brom-----------------£52M----------£25M--------£27M-----------£5M
16Swansea--------------------£72M----------£66M-------£6M--------------£1M
17Everton----------------------£88M----------£84M--------£4M-------------£800K
18Newcastle------------------£100M---------£99M--------£1M-------------£300K (actual figure 250K)
19Burnley----------------------£14M----------£20M-(profit)£6M---(profit)-£1M
20Tottenham-----------------£220M----------£242M(profit)£22M-(profit)£4M

SURPRISE!!!!!!!
Wait.... what are you doing with that rickety stool and that rope? Of course Mike Ashley is going to have us challenging for champions league football... of course he's going to provide us with the funds he's been hoarding away like an insomniac hamster... Before you lose hope and stop refreshing BBC Sport every three seconds in the vain hope we'll sign someone like the good little fanatic you are, here's a table of what we have accomplished while spending so little (well, we've spent the 11th most (below Sunderland again... maybe they should just wait for the wingers to offend, then they can sign them straight out of prison much cheaper... oh wait, I forgot Man United might be retiring a back-up centre back or two), but we've once again attained the 7th most from player sales, indicating a lack of longevity and team-building. We're a cattle-market club... And really we're only 7th because Liverpool bought the region of Southampton and everyone in it for 18 billion stole TVs, sold Suarez for what his agent was told was £20 , and Real Madrid needed a living representative of Homo Habilis for their pre-match petting zoo).

LAST FIVE YEARS RESULTS TABLE------------------------------------

-----------TEAM-----------Total Points---Mean Finish on TP-----Mean Actual Finish
1. Man City-----------------------403----------2nd/3rd--------------------2nd
2. Chelsea-----------------------379-----------3rd--------------------------3rd
3. Man Utd-----------------------392-----------3rd------------------------- 3rd
4. Arsenal------------------------365-----------3rd/4th---------------------4th
5. Spurs---------------------------336-----------4th-5th---------------------5th
6. Liverpool-----------------------317-----------5th/6th---------------------6th
7. Everton-------------------------292-----------6th/7th--------------------7th
8. Southampton------------------157(/3)--------8th/9th-------------------10th
9. Swansea-----------------------191(/4)--------10th/11th----------------10th
10. Crystal Palace---------------93(/2)----------11th/12th----------------10th
11. Newcastle---------------------240----------10th/11th------------------12th
12. Stoke---------------------------237-------------10th/11th---------------12th
13 West Brom---------------------223------------12th/13th----------------12th
14. West Ham---------------------166(/4)--------15th----------------------14th
15. Sunderland--------------------207----------15th/16th------------------14th
16. Villa-----------------------------203-----------15th/16th-----------------14th
17. Leicester-----------------------41(/1)-----------15th/16th----------------14th
18. Hull------------------------------72(/2)----------17th/18th----------------17th
19. Burnley-------------------------33(/1)-----------19th----------------------19th
20. QPR----------------------------92(/3)-----------19th/20th---------------19th

*TPs position rating taken from mean scores for each place over 2003-2013 period in table on this link.
http://statsbomb.com/2014/01/the-premier-league-2003-2013-points-per-league-position/

Ta-da! Hooray... mid-table... well, not as safe a mid-table as others. We're up and down like a Sunderland player's pants when he sees a school bus. However, broadly speaking, if you had to outline realistic expectations for the club over the next season, this table is a bit of a sobering insight.

So... To turn that frown upside down, here's the final table in my presentation, which Ashley-lovers, statisticians and WUMs may lord over any and all comers for generations to come...

MONEYBALL LEAGUE (also known as the ALDI LEAGUE OF VALUE FOR MONEY)

TEAM -------------------------MILL SPENT per PTS
1. West Brom-----------------------0.23
2. Stoke------------------------------0.26
3. Everton---------------------------0.30
4. Swansea-------------------------0.38
5. Newcastle------------------------0.42
6. Burnley----------------------------0.42
7. Villa--------------------------------0.51
8. Sunderland-----------------------0.57
9. West Ham------------------------0.57
10. Palace----------------------------0.58
11. Spurs------------------------------0.65
12. Arsenal---------------------------0.71
13. Leicester-------------------------0.80
14. Southampton---------------------0.89
15. Man Utd---------------------------0.90
16. Liverpool--------------------------1.11
17. QPR-------------------------------1.16
18. Man City--------------------------1.17
19. Chelsea---------------------------1.32
20. Hull---------------------------------(These figures are not available. Steve Bruce is too fat)
Click to expand...

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Albert's Chip Shop · Jun 21, 2015

Bob Moncur's nose get's longer and browner by the minute.
That is all.

Albert's Chip Shop · Jun 21, 2015

Just googled a pic of Kunis...

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Aussie blackcat85 · Jun 22, 2015

Sebb's Campaign Manager said: ↑

A convict Sunderland fan or JPF...hmmmm

So tell me Blackcat what part of Australia you from?
Click to expand...

The finest part... grubby Gold Coast father in law!

What We Already Know In Figures And Endless BORING Tables And A Picture Of Mila Kunis Naked

TheJudeanPeoplesFront Well-Known Member

MF SHAK Well-Known Member

Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter Forum Moderator

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What We Already Know In Figures And Endless BORING Tables And A Picture Of Mila Kunis Naked

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