Off Topic What is the daftest thing you’ve done in work

When I left my old job I taped some blue cheese underneath my old bosses desk which was a laugh.

I subsequent freelanced for him and he wrapped masking tape round my head which was a bitch bulling out of my hair.

Good banter though

 

I took apart a disposable camera in the name of science, completely ignoring the electrical shock warning labels all over it and accidentally shorted it. A decent current and about 400V.

That zap hurt like a ****er.

 

Shocking!

 

I once hurled a Reuters terminal across the dealing room after some **** deliberately legged me over on a trade.

Didn’t go down too well with the septics, but in our world professionals just didn’t do that to each other.

The twat got a rep, I made sure of that. He was out of a job within months because nobody would deal with him.

 

You raped someone? That's really not cool.

 

Ffs milk

 

I used the word niggardly during a conversation with a black coworker. It was clear from his expression he had no idea what that word meant and thought I had said something else.

I no longer use that word lest it be confused again.

 

My first job out of University started well... But then the owner of the company retired and his son took over and started laying people off... Two people every other Friday. (Went from about 80 employees to 30 employees be over a painful number of months... a slow trickle of people getting fired and those remaining jumping ship).

Anyhow... So like everyone else in that situation, never knowing if I would be one of the lucky 2 on the next Friday, I was looking for a job.

I had an interview on Monday afternoon and the Saturday before I tried to print off my resume. My printer at home died... So I had a brilliant idea... It's a weekend, noone is at work... I'll print my resume off at work.

Went to office. Put resume paper in printer... Went to desk... Printed resume... Went to printer... Nothing printed... Went back to desk and realised I had printed to a different printer in a different building, one I didnt have a key for.

All weekend I stewed thinking someone would find I had printed a resume off at work and I'd get fired.

Monday morning I got a friend to let me into that building and I went straight to the printer. My resume had been moved off to the side... Someone had been in there before me.

I never got called out for it... I never got fired, and I've no idea who saw my resume there they never told me.

A few weeks later I was actually offered a raise, which I felt a little guilty accepting since half the people had been laid off to save money... But I gladly accepted it and worked for part of the company for two years after that (it split in two). I don't know if the raise was offered because someone saw the resume or what.

Either way, it was a pretty stupid thing to do, but might have worked out in my favour.

 

Went to work tripping once. Took far too much acid the night before and assumed it would wear off. Was out of my ****ing tree working in a bakery trying to mix dough and take hot loaves out of the oven.

 

Grass.

 

You had to understand the etiquette of the way pro traders dealt with each other. What he did broke every rule and agreement we had between us,

Edit: I should add that I could have grassed him up for dishonesty to the SFA, as was. I didn’t, I just made my fellow traders aware to watch out for him.

 

I know mate, just joking with ya.

 

Same job as I mentioned above... My flat was literally across the street from my office so I used to walk to work and eat my lunch at home. Occasionally I'd have a beer or wine on lunch break.

On one occasion I got a little tipsy on my lunch break... I avoided everyone that afternoon so noone would smell it on me or notice I was a little odd. I must naturally be a little odd because no one seemed to notice. I think that was my most productive work afternoon ever because I was working hard so no one would notice me.

 

You need help.

 

Worked for RAC as a temp for 3 months whilst they closed down and resituated to Bristol, last day during lunch went to the oxfam shop, bought a dress and handbag, put them on and my hair in bunches, and went back to work. Walked into the office, chewing gum, swinging the handbag and giving it hips a bit like this:

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Didn't go down to well with the boss, but did with the girls in the office

 

Yeah none of us have noticed that you're a little odd either mate.

 

Beat me to it

 

I have never strove to be normal.

 

Same Would hate to be like all those boring b'tards out there.