What did you dream about last night?

I dreamt that I helped Paul Ince change a flat tyre at the side of the A12 in Essex. He was wearing a Wolverhampton Wanderers tracksuit.

 

Was his fanny hairy too?

 

Weirdly enough, his fanny got hairier the more times I shagged him.

 

I keep having recurring dreams I'm a horse.

That's 5 nights on the trot now.

 

I woke up at 2 am this morning thinking the dog was barking at the front door. Got up, went away down stairs, **** all. Went back up stairs and the dog is lying snoring on the floor at the other side of the bed.

Kicked the cùnt anyway for barking in my dreams.

 

I dreamt about the lambs, Clarice...

 

He's 56 years old ffs

Do you often dream of shagging grandas?

 

My dreams all seem to be set in the 80's. I used to buy cars for my garage business from the auctions. Now I buy something like an XR3i for about two grand and spend the dream worrying if I paid too much. Then I wake up and find it's worth something like 25 grand.

 

I dream of living in exotic places for two years.

 

I've just had a dream about Dale Winton. Nothing happened, he just watched me as I slept. Pretty comforting to know he was there tbh

 

I closed my eyes, drew back the curtain
To see for certain what I thought I knew
Far far away, someone was weeping
But the world was sleeping
Any dream will do

 

Beef curtains?

 

*Longpig

 

I dreamt I saw St Augustine.