1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

What day of the week is it thread

Discussion in 'Wycombe' started by Guywanderer, Mar 15, 2020.

  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,807
    Likes Received:
    262,448
    please log in to view this image
     
    #1561
    Ron and Guywanderer like this.
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,807
    Likes Received:
    262,448
    please log in to view this image
     
    #1562
    Guywanderer likes this.
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,807
    Likes Received:
    262,448
    My van wouldn't start today.

    So I looked under the bonnet and saw a bat, sitting on the engine.

    It was a very polite bat. He said "hello sir, you are a handsome man, and very nicely dressed too"

    I could see the problem straight away.





    Bat flattery.....
     
    #1563
    Guywanderer likes this.
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,807
    Likes Received:
    262,448
    This is the wurst photo I have ever seen..........
    please log in to view this image
     
    #1564
    Guywanderer likes this.
  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,807
    Likes Received:
    262,448
    You probably think that you know the story about Noah’s Ark, but think again because here’s the real story . . . .

    God appeared to Noah and said “It’s going to rain for 40 days and 40 nights, and I want you to build an Ark. It has to be 30 cubits wide, 60 cubits long and 2 stories high“
    Noah replied “I'm guessing that you want me to fill it with birds and animals.”
    God said, “No, fish mainly, and particularly carp.“
    Noah replied “Ah . . . . you want a two storey carp Ark“
     
    #1565
    Guywanderer and Ron like this.
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,807
    Likes Received:
    262,448
    please log in to view this image
     
    #1566
    Guywanderer likes this.
  7. Ron

    Ron Well-Known Member
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    48,319
    Likes Received:
    15,485
    FFS Woopert <laugh>
     
    #1567
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,807
    Likes Received:
    262,448
    The missus asked me last night if I could give her a Liverpool performance in bed

    I said what’s that? She said ‘you stay on top a long time and come second’.
     
    #1568
    Guywanderer likes this.
  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,807
    Likes Received:
    262,448
    BREAKING NEWS: FIRST PICTURES FROM MARS
    please log in to view this image
     
    #1569
    Guywanderer and Ron like this.
  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,807
    Likes Received:
    262,448
    please log in to view this image
     
    #1570
    Guywanderer likes this.

  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,807
    Likes Received:
    262,448
    please log in to view this image
     
    #1571
    Guywanderer and Ron like this.
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,807
    Likes Received:
    262,448
    please log in to view this image
     
    #1572
    Guywanderer and Ron like this.
  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,807
    Likes Received:
    262,448
    please log in to view this image
     
    #1573
    Guywanderer likes this.
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,807
    Likes Received:
    262,448
    So I said: to the lady: "Can you make me a dish of jelly, cake, cream & custard in the shape of an island off the southwest coast of Britain?"

    She said: "Don't you think that's a trifle scilly?"
     
    #1574
    Guywanderer and Ron like this.
  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,807
    Likes Received:
    262,448
    please log in to view this image
     
    #1575
    Guywanderer likes this.
  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,807
    Likes Received:
    262,448
    please log in to view this image
     
    #1576
    Guywanderer and Ron like this.
  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,807
    Likes Received:
    262,448
    please log in to view this image
     
    #1577
    Guywanderer likes this.
  18. Ron

    Ron Well-Known Member
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    48,319
    Likes Received:
    15,485
    I was trying to work out what that drink is
     
    #1578
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,807
    Likes Received:
    262,448
    A woman asks her husband, 'Would you like some bacon and eggs, a
    slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit and coffee?'
    He declines. 'Thanks for asking, but I'm not hungry right now. It's
    this Viagra,' he says. 'It's really taken the edge off my appetite.'
    At lunchtime she asked him if he would like something. 'A bowl of
    soup, homemade muffins, or a cheese sandwich?'
    He declines. 'The Viagra,' he says, 'really trashes my desire for food.'
    Come dinnertime, she asks if he wants anything to eat. 'Would you
    like a juicy rib eye steak and scrumptious apple pie? Or maybe a
    rotisserie chicken or tasty stir fry?'
    He declines again. 'No,' he says, 'it's got to be the Viagra....I'm
    still not hungry.'
    'Well,' she says, 'Would you mind letting me up? I'm starving.'
     
    #1579
    Guywanderer and Ron like this.
  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,807
    Likes Received:
    262,448
    please log in to view this image
     
    #1580
    Guywanderer likes this.

Share This Page