What day of the week is it thread

A woman three months pregnant falls into a deep coma. Six months later she wakes up and asks for the fate of her baby.
"You had twins, a boy and a girl, and they are both fine," said the midwife. "Luckily, your brother named them for you."
"Oh no, not my brother, he's from Liverpool," said the mother. "Anyway, what did he call the girl?"
"Denise," said the midwife.
Thinking that isn't so bad, the mother asked, "What did he call the boy?"
The midwife answered, "Denephew."

 

A Taliban commander is patrolling when he hears a shout from behind a sand dune.

"One SAS soldier is better than ten taliban fighters!"

The Taliban commander is enraged at this cheek, so quickly sends his 10 best soldiers over the dune.

A few shots can be heard. When all is quiet there is no sign of the 10 fighters. Another shout rings out.

"One SAS soldier is better than 100 taliban fighters!"

The enraged commander rustles up 100 fighters and sends them over the dune. A firefight erupts. When all is quiet there is no sign of the Taliban fighters. Another shot rings out.

"One SAS soldier is better than 1,000 Taliban fighters!"

The commander, now livid, sends 1,000 fighters over the dune. A firefight lasting one hour ensues. When all is quiet, one dying fighter crawls back over the dune and into the arms of his commander and says:

"Don't send any more fighters. It's a trap. There's two of them!”

 

During Tri-Service orders, the General tells the assembly, "Go and secure three hotels in town."

The British Army duly formed up an assault team and cordon party, sealed off the hotel, blew the doors in and cleared each floor, room by room.

The Royal Navy sent out a shore patrol and entered the hotel, shut all of the windows, turned off all the lights and locked the doors.

The Royal Air Force sent an officer and accountant and booked all of the rooms for a month with an option to purchase.

 

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them.

 

Very thoughtful Woopert

 

On the other hand he had a great sense of humour. Bet he'd still have a chuckle or two.