Woman goes into the opticians and says "I am returning the glasses I bought for my husband." "Why ever are you doing that ?" asked the receptionist. She replied "He is still not seeing things my way !"
My wife and I decided that we didn't want children....so if any of you are interested we have a boy aged 6 and a girl aged 3.
As a vet I just refused to operate on a parrot that swallowed a watch. I don't want to get into polly ticks.
I'm gonna be turning my lights out this Halloween and pretending I'm not in... Sod the ships. My lighthouse, my rules.
You offer someone a sincere compliment on their moustache, and suddenly she's not your friend any more !!