1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

What day of the week is it thread

Discussion in 'Wycombe' started by Guywanderer, Mar 15, 2020.

  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,236
    Likes Received:
    294,077
    please log in to view this image
     
    #1121
    Guywanderer and Ron like this.
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,236
    Likes Received:
    294,077
    please log in to view this image
     
    #1122
    Ron likes this.
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,236
    Likes Received:
    294,077
    please log in to view this image
     
    #1123
    Ron likes this.
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,236
    Likes Received:
    294,077
    My friends just been shot with a starter pistol.

    Police think it’s race related.......
     
    #1124
    Guywanderer likes this.
  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,236
    Likes Received:
    294,077
    please log in to view this image
     
    #1125
    Ron likes this.
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,236
    Likes Received:
    294,077
    I gave the wife a handmade bra that i got from a craft fair, and told her it was made from sheepdog fur.
    "Aww, how sweet" She giggled. "Is that to keep my boobies nice and warm?"
    I said, "No, but it'll round them up and point them in the right direction".
     
    #1126
    Ron likes this.

  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,236
    Likes Received:
    294,077
    please log in to view this image
     
    #1127
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,236
    Likes Received:
    294,077
    Can someone tell me why so many ancient battles were fought on tourist sites?
     
    #1128
    Ron likes this.
  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,236
    Likes Received:
    294,077
    Found £20 in a Tesco car park.

    I said to myself what would Jesus do.

    So l turned it into wine.
     
    #1129
    Guywanderer likes this.
  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,236
    Likes Received:
    294,077
    My wife ran away with the milkman today.

    Watching them drive off in his milk float was the worst two and a half hours of my life.
     
    #1130
    Guywanderer likes this.
  11. Ron

    Ron Well-Known Member Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    50,181
    Likes Received:
    23,375
    I was driving home the other night, having had a couple of drinks when I noticed a police car in my rear mirror. I thought I better not risk getting stopped so I put my foot down. To my horror their blue light went on and the siren started. I thought "****" and put my foot down. I was up to 90mph and still hadn't shaken them off. So I booted it, flat to the board. 100mph, 120mp 150mph. Eventually I shook them off. Feeling a bit shaken and having missed my turning, I pulled off into a side road and pulled over in a layby to calm down. About 10 mins later the bloody police car pulled into the layby and one of the policemen came over and asked me step out of the car. He said I had better have a very good reason for travelling at that speed. Very nervously I said 'I'm very sorry sir" and gave him the sob story that "2 years ago my wife left me and ran off with someone from the police force. And I thought he was bringing her back"
     
    #1131
    Guywanderer and Wooperts_duck like this.
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,236
    Likes Received:
    294,077
    please log in to view this image
     
    #1132
    Guywanderer and Ron like this.
  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,236
    Likes Received:
    294,077
    please log in to view this image
     
    #1133
    Guywanderer and Ron like this.
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,236
    Likes Received:
    294,077
    If anyone wants to read the Chiropractor Monthly Magazine, I've got some back issues.....
     
    #1134
    Guywanderer and Ron like this.
  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,236
    Likes Received:
    294,077
    No eggs at the supermarket today.

    Due to social distancing farmers are struggling to make hens meet.
     
    #1135
    Guywanderer and Ron like this.
  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,236
    Likes Received:
    294,077
    please log in to view this image
     
    #1136
    Guywanderer likes this.
  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,236
    Likes Received:
    294,077
    please log in to view this image
     
    #1137
    Guywanderer likes this.
  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,236
    Likes Received:
    294,077
    please log in to view this image
     
    #1138
    Guywanderer likes this.
  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,236
    Likes Received:
    294,077
    please log in to view this image
     
    #1139
    Guywanderer likes this.
  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,236
    Likes Received:
    294,077
    please log in to view this image
     
    #1140
    Guywanderer likes this.

Share This Page