Cheers mate I put it on twitter (X) https://x.com/guywanderer/status/1887862779094143246?t=vZaPqFkrzmWaH_f3tNIQ6A&s=19
So watching a porn film with the wife, I said why don't you scream and shout when you're having an orgasm? She said well I do, but you're never there at the time.....
The distance between ladder rungs has increased by 5%. This is due to an increase in the height of our population. Experts have put this down to 'Climb it Change'.
I broke down on the hard shoulder last week and while I was under the bonnet a homeless man approached me and asked what was wrong. I told him, “Piston broke, mate!” He said, “Yeah, me too.”
For Valentine's Day, my wife wanted to know where l would take her…… Apparently, ‘from behind’ was not what she wanted to hear.
"Valentine poems/quotes" 1. My love, you take my breath away. What have you stepped in to smell this way? 2. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot; This describes everything you are not. 3. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss, But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed. 4. I thought that I could love no other that is until I met your brother. 5. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head. 6. I want to feel your sweet embrace; But don't take that paper bag off your face. 7. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes Damn, I'm good at telling lies! 8. I see your face when I am dreaming. That's why I always wake up screaming. 9. My feelings for you no words can tell, Except for maybe 'Go to hell.' 10. What inspired this amorous rhyme? Two parts vodka, one part lime.
