I went into the library, today. I asked the assistant if they had any books on different noise levels. She said, Yes, what volume do you want?
If only we could get crowds like this now. We could easily have won that game The house where I used to live as a kid just about in view (about 200- 300 yards from the gas works )
I went to a French restaurant last night and I ordered Napoleon chicken for the first time. When It came there was no meat just the carcass. I said to the waitress: "What's this?!!" "She said: "It's the boney part".
My wife has requested that when I'm receiving a blow job she would appreciate it if I told her when I'm about to come. Do you think that I should phone her, or would a text suffice?
"Scientists have discovered a huge ring-shaped structure in outer space – and it's so big that it challenges our current understanding of the universe Dubbed the Big Ring, the ultra-large structure has a diameter of 1.3 billion light-years and a circumference of 4 billion light-years And their ultra-large sizes, distinctive shapes, and cosmological proximity must surely be telling us something important - but what exactly?" What indeed. Can't wait for the next episode. My guess is **** all that we can do anything about
I said to the girl in B&Q, "What's the best thing for greasy ovens?" She replied "Ammonia Cleaner" I said, "Sorry, I thought you worked here"......
A man has a car accident and is taken to hospital Just before he was put under, the surgeon dropped in to see him "I have some good news and some bad news," says the surgeon. "The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm!" "Oh God, no!" cries the man "My golfing is over! Please Doc what's the good news? "The good news is I have another one to replace it with, but it's a woman's arm. I'll need your permission before I go ahead with the transplant." ".Go for it doc" says the man. "As long as I can play golf again." The operation went well and a year later the man was out on the golf course when he bumped into the surgeon. "Hi, how's the new arm?" asks the surgeon. "Just great," says the businessman. "I'm playing the best golf of my life. My new arm has a much finer touch and my putting has really improved." "Not only that," continued the golfer "my handwriting has improved, I've learned how to sew my own clothes and I've even taken up painting landscapes in water colors." "Unbelievable!" said the surgeon "I'm so glad to hear the transplant was such a great success. Are you having any side effects?" "Well, just one problem" said the golfer. "Every time I get an erection , I also get a headache."
