Six golf clubs go into a bar and one says: "5 lagers and a coke please". "Don’t you mean 6 lagers?" asks the barman. "No …. coke for me ……. I’m the driver !"
As the Kardashians celebrate their 20th and final season. I would LIKE to congratulate myself for never watching a single episode.
Beyond confirming Einstein's theory yet again, a number of exciting questions emerge from the discovery of black hole spin. Among them are ones relating to what catastrophic events could have caused the rapid rotation, as well as the possibility of discovering photon spheres — a faint ring of light surrounding the black hole that could give important hints into a theory of quantum gravity...........................................; I must continue reading that sometime
My mate told me that he once dated a twin. I asked "How could you tell them apart?" He replied "Maria painted her nails red, and Tony had a moustache"......
As I was getting in to bed, she said "Your'e drunk!" I said "How do you know?" She replied "Because you live next door!"....
Five surgeons are discussing who the best patients are to operate on. The first surgeon said, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside them are numbered." The second responded, "You should try electricians! Everything inside them are color coded." The third surgeon said, "I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them are in alphabetical order." The fourth surgeon chimed in, "You know, I like construction workers...they always understand when you have a few parts left over in the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would." But the fifth surgeon shut them all up with this observation, "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no spine and the head and butt are interchangeable
I went to the doctors the other day, and he told me I've got hypochondria. I said I'm not surprised, as I've got everything else......
I was sitting on the edge of my bed last night, pulling my boxers off. My wife said to me "You spoil those dogs!"....
My bank called me this morning, and said there had been some suspicious bulk buying of after shaves on my bank account. They think my card has been cologned....
