The Black Bra I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a mistress and I, the third one, have been married for 20 years. We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes. Here’s how it all went. My engaged friend: The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos, and a mask. He saw me and said, ‘You are the woman of my dreams…I love you.’ Then we made passionate love all night long. The mistress: 'Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and mask over my eyes. When I opened the raincoat he didn’t say a word, but he started to tremble and we made wild love all night.' Then I had to share my story: 'When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. When he came in the door and saw me he said, “What’s for dinner, Zorro?”
Bob, an undertaker, recently came home with a black eye. He wife asked him, "What happened to you?" "I've had a terrible day!" says Bob. I had to go to a hotel, where a guest had died in his sleep! When I got there, the manager said they couldn't get him into a body bag, because he had a huge erection!" "Anyway, I went up, and sure enough there was this big naked man, lying on the bed with a huge erection! So I grabbed his erection with both hands and tried to bend it in half!" "I see!" said the wife, "That must have been terrible! But how did you get the black eye?" Bob replied, "Wrong room!"
Burial At Sea Betty and Barbie, two blonde sisters had promised their uncle they would bury him at sea when he died. Their uncle had been a seafaring gentleman all his life and it was to be his final wish. Of course, in due time, he did pass away and the two blondes kept their promise. They cast off from Fort Lauderdale with their uncle all stitched up in a burial bag and loaded onto his rowboat. After rowing for quite some time, Betty says, 'Do you think we're out far enough?' Barbie slips over the side and almost immediately says, 'No, this will never do -- the water is only up to my chest.' So they row on some more, and Barbie slips over the side once again and disappears. Quite a bit of time goes by while Barbie is under water and poor Betty is really getting worried. Suddenly, Barbie breaks the surface, gasping for breath. 'Well is it deep enough yet, Sis?' Betty inquires. 'Yes,finally! Hand me the shovel.'
Did you hear what happened to President Biden at his local Bank last Friday in Delaware? He was going to do a photo op and went to grab some cash at the bank to buy lunch for himself and Delawares Governor. He walked in with Secret Service all around him and the beast and motorcade outside. He had a short chat and a few pictures with those in line, before approaching the teller he didn’t recognize. “Hello”, said President Biden to the teller with a pause. The tellers name was Julie and she was brand new, but said “Hello Mr. President!” after watching everything in the lobby. Biden handed her the slip for cash withdrawal and she looked up his account and got the cash in hand. She then just asked to see ID quick to verify his identity, before giving him the $100. Biden looked at her confused and she said, “I’m sorry for the inconvenience sir, but it’s policy to verify and I’m new.” President Biden looked to his left, then right and finally turned around and told the lead Secret Service Agent the issue. All of a sudden everyone in the immediate entourage was digging through their bags. One Secret Service Agent went to the beast and looked for Biden’s wallet and came up empty handed. After a few minutes things settled down and President Biden told the teller, “come on man” because this was getting embarrassing! Julie said, Mr. President, a few weeks ago this very same thing happened to Tiger Woods and he was able to verify his identity. He forgot his wallet at the house, but he had golf clubs and balls with him. He asked me that if he could putt the ball across the entire bank lobby going around a desk and hit a small spot near that door more than 30 ft. away would I believe it was him? I said of course, that’s something only you could do. Mr. Woods did as he said and he was on his way with his money! So, Mr. President is there anything you could do or show me to prove you are infact the President?” Biden: Well, I don’t know, I’m clueless! Julie: Mr. President, you should’ve said so to begin with. Here you are!
