I can't afford an Ancestry DNA Kit to learn about my relatives. So instead I just posted online that I had won the lottery.
I'm not being paranoid, but there are 5 Peruvian owls standing on my fence, watching me through the kitchen window!! I'm sure they're Inca hoots !!!....
A man, an ostrich, and a cat A man walks into a bar with an ostrich and a cat and sits at the bar. The bartender walks over to them and says, "What can I get for you?" The man says "I'll have a beer", the ostrich says, "I'll have a beer", and the cat says, "I'll have half a beer and I'm not buying." So the bartender says, "OK, that will be $3.87." The man reaches into his pocket and brings out the exact change and pays him. About an hour later the bartender goes back over to them and says, "What'll you guys have?" The man says, "I'll have a beer", the ostrich says, "I'll have a beer", and the cat says "I'll have half a beer and I'm not buying." The bartender gets them their beer and says "That'll be $3.87." The man reaches into his pocket and brings out the exact change and pays him. A couple of days later they come back into the bar and the bartender walks over and asks "What do you guys want today?" The man says, "I'll have a scotch", the ostrich says, "I'll have a bourbon", and the cat says, "I'll have half a beer and I'm not buying." So the bartender says "OK, that will be $7.53." The man reaches into his pocket and brings out the exact change and pays him. The bartender's curiosity got the best of him and he asks, "Why is it that every time I tell you the amount you owe you always have the exact change in you pocket?" The man said, "I found a bottle with a genie in it and she granted me 3 wishes. My first wish was that I always have the exact change in my pocket for anything I buy." The bartender says, "That's a great wish...better than asking for a million dollars. A million dollars will run out but that never will. What were your other 2 wishes?" The man says, "That's where I screwed up. I asked for a chick with long legs and a tight pussy."
"Former Wycombe Wanderers striker Adebayo Akinfenwa has briefly come out of retirement to play for a Non League club in Essex. The 40-year-old, who hung up his boots this May following the conclusion of the Chairboys’ 2021/22 season, was seen spotted donning the black and white of Hashtag United, who play in the Isthmian League North Division. Founded by YouTuber and online personality in Spencer Owen, the ‘Beast’ made an appearance for the Tags in their pre-season friendly against Walthamstow on Monday, July 11." I remember the days when we used to play against Walthamstow Ave. Is that who Jim Lewis played for when they took Man Utd to 2 replays in the FA Cup?
Just had my bank statement through and noticed that I've had payments go out for a water pistol, a pair of size 20 shoes, a trumpet and a red nose.. 'Phoned the bank & apparently my card's been clowned.
The only teams I remember playing in an FA Amateur Cup semi final were Bishop Auckland, at Doncaster, and Corinthian Casuals, at Highbury. I was at both
Nice gesture by Tyson Fury, Ron However, I hope they go down this season, as I can't stand their revolting manager who shows no class at all as a human being.
