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What day of the week is it thread

Discussion in 'Wycombe' started by Guywanderer, Mar 15, 2020.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #3421
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 15, 2022
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #3422
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 15, 2022
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #3423
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 16, 2022
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #3424
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 16, 2022
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #3425
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 16, 2022
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  6. Ron

    Ron Well-Known Member
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    4 on the trot I can't see
     
    #3426
    Ron, Jun 16, 2022
  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #3427
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 17, 2022
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Smelly Bob drove the honey bus for the local council and he'd arrived at old Granny Smith's to empty her septic tank. Bob always enjoyed winding up the punters and shouted to the deaf old coffin dodger,
    'Sorry love, but due to cutbacks I can only remove the liquid today'.
    Granny Smith never enjoyed this horrid event and looked concerned.
    'Yes dear, that's right' quipped the pongy prat
    'You'll have to book another visit to have the solids removed'
    Bob wandered back to his turd truck with a grin and Granny was quickly on the phone to his supervisor.
    'Hello, is that the Council? I'm not happy about my septic tank not being emptied properly. Your man say's he can only remove the liquid today, whatever's going on?'
    Bob's boss guessed he was up to his usual tricks and reassured the panicking pensioner,
    'Don't worry madam, the driver's only joking, he'll do a proper job'.
    'I beg your pardon' said Granny, not hearing a word.
    'I said don't worry, the driver's only joking, he'll do a proper job', repeated the boss, as clearly as possible
    'What's that now, you'll really have to speak up?' barked Granny.
    'He's messing about, of course he'll clear the tank properly', said the desk jockey, rapidly losing patience.
    'Stop mumbling man, speak clearly so I can hear you'.
    'HE'S JUST TAKING THE PISS' shouted the irate official.
    'Ah, at last!' exclaimed Granny. 'Now THAT'S why I'm ringing!
     
    #3428
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 17, 2022
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #3429
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 17, 2022
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  10. Wooperts_duck

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    #3430
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 19, 2022
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    After many hours of extremely acrobatic and exhausting sex with a
    blonde he had just picked up, a man goes into the kitchen for some food
    to replenish his justspent energy.
    He pours himself a glass of milk
    and right before drinking it, he realizes his manhood is still pretty
    hot,so he sticks it in the glass to cool it off.
    Just then the blonde
    walks in and says,
    "Oh, I always wondered how you refilled those."
     
    #3431
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 19, 2022
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  12. Wooperts_duck

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    #3432
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 19, 2022
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  13. Wooperts_duck

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    #3433
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 19, 2022
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  14. Wooperts_duck

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    #3434
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 20, 2022
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  15. Wooperts_duck

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    #3435
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 20, 2022
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  16. Wooperts_duck

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    #3436
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 20, 2022
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  17. Wooperts_duck

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    #3437
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 20, 2022
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  18. Wooperts_duck

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    #3438
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 20, 2022
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  19. Wooperts_duck

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    #3439
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 20, 2022
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  20. Wooperts_duck

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    Old Muldoon, lived alone in the Irish countryside with only his faithful pet dog Benji for company:
    Sadly one day his beloved dog died and Muldoon went to the parish priest to tell him and said.
    "Faither, my beloved dog and best Benji just passed away. "Could ya' be saying a Mass for the poor creature Faither?"
    Sadly shaking his head father Patrick put his hand on Muldoon's shoulder and replied. "I'm afraid not my friend. Sadly the Vatican rules do not allow us, we cannot have church services for an animal. But there are some Baptists down the lane and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll be able to do something for the poor creature."
    Muldoon stood up thanked the priest, shook hands and said. "That's a shame Faither to be sure. But thanks fur the suggestion about them Baptists, i'll go an check wi them right away Faither. Do ya think £5,000 wid be enough tae gi tae them fur the service or should I offer some mair?"
    Father Patrick exclaimed. "Bejaysus, Sweet Mary Mother of Jesus Muldoon! Why the hell didn't ya tell me the dog was a Catholic?"
     
    #3440
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 20, 2022
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