My wife and I have the secret to a long and happy marriage. We go to a nice restaurant twice a week , have a glass of wine , and a lovely meal.... She goes Tuesday's and I go Friday's...
I was in a queue at a newsagents and there was a little girl wanting to buy a cream egg and it was the last one. She offered it to the rest of the queue but everyone refused. The egg was 70p but she only had 48p. "It's my favourite and they taste really nice" the shopkeeper replied " sorry but it costs 70p" . So I stepped forward and paid for the egg. She was right it tasted really nice.
My friends son has just left home to start an apprenticeship with Manchester Utd FC. To save any embarrassment they told friends and neighbours he’d been sent to prison..
Just parked my car at the hospital, when an attendant said, “You can't park there, that's for badge holders only.” I replied, “That's okay, I've got a bad shoulder”
I recently spent £6,500 on a young registered Black Angus bull. I put him out with the herd, but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth. Anyhow, I had the Vet come and have a look at him. He said the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day. The bull started to service the cows within two days, all my cows! He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbor's cows! He's like a machine! I don't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him . .but, they taste like peppermint
