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What day of the week is it thread

Discussion in 'Wycombe' started by Guywanderer, Mar 15, 2020.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2081
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 4, 2021
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2082
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 4, 2021
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2083
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 4, 2021
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2084
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 4, 2021
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2085
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 4, 2021
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2086
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 4, 2021
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2087
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 4, 2021
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2088
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 5, 2021
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2089
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 5, 2021
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2090
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 5, 2021
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Went to the hospital today, I said "I've been bitten by a wolf"

    They said "where?"

    I said "no just an ordinary one"..........
     
    #2091
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 6, 2021
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A mother-in-law stopped by unexpectedly the recently married couple's house. She knocks on the door, then immediately walks in. She is shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked.
    "What are you doing?" she asked.
    "I'm waiting for Jeff to come home from work," the daughter-in-law answered.
    "But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.
    "This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.
    "Love dress? But you're naked!"
    "Jeff loves me to wear this dress! It makes him happy and it makes me happy."
    The mother-in-law on the way home thought about the love dress. When she got home she got undressed, showered, put on her best perfume and expectantly waited for her husband, lying provocatively on the couch.
    Finally her husband came home. He walked in and saw her naked on the couch.
    "What are you doing?" he asked.
    "This is my love dress," she replied.
    "Needs ironing," he says" "What's for dinner?"
     
    #2092
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 6, 2021
  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Saw a sign on the train saying, "Please give this seat to an elderly person."

    So I unscrewed it and took it to my Grandad's house.
     
    #2093
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 6, 2021
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2094
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 6, 2021
  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    So I was in Waitrose on the island of Guernsey the other day and I asked a staff member: "Can you tell me where the potatoes are please?"

    She said: "On the next aisle".

    So I nipped over to Jersey.......
     
    #2095
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 6, 2021
  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2096
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 6, 2021
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2097
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 8, 2021
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2098
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 8, 2021
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee after Mass.
    The first Catholic man tells his friends, “My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him ‘Father’.”
    The second Catholic man chirps, “My son is a Bishop, when he walks into a room people call him ‘Your Grace’.”
    The third Catholic man says, “My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone says ‘Your Eminence’.”
    The fourth Catholic man says, “My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him ‘Your Holiness’.”
    Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men gave her a look and said, “Well….?”
    She proudly replies, “I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38 Double D breasts, 24″ waist, and 34″ hips.
    When she walks into a room, people say, “Oh My God.”
     
    #2099
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 8, 2021
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I know I joke a lot on my posts, but on a serious note, I need everyone to wish me luck. I have a meeting at the bank and if all goes well I'll be debt free and own everything that I have now.

    I'm soooo excited, I can hardly put my balaclava on.
     
    #2100
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 8, 2021
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