A Man decided to join the church and become a monk. He went to his new home and the head monk told him that in order to dedicate his life to the church he had to take a vow of silence, but he would be allowed 2 words every 7 years. The man agreed and began his new life. 7 years passed and the head monk said "You have done very well my son I shall now grant you 2 words." "Food cold" replied the monk. "Sorry" said the head monk, "I shall have to sort that out for you as soon as possible." Another 7 years pass and again he is granted 2 words. "bed hard" he said. "I'm really sorry" says the head monk, "I'll fix that for you right away." Another 7 years pass and the head monk says "You have served us well and I'm happy to grant you another 2 words" "I quit!" replied the monk. "Good" said the head monk, "You've done nothing but moan since you got here...."
"Doctor, I think I may have ADHD I can't remember where I parked my Ford." "That's not how ADHD works. " "I keep losing my Focus. "
It’s been a strange day today. First I found a hatful of money. Then I was chased by an angry man with a guitar
Wife: "Why can’t you treat me like you did when we were courting?" So her husband took her to the cinema, then onto a lovely meal, kissed her then dropped her off at her parents.