What are you doing?

Knowing how a dildo works clearly isn't one of them

 

You might as well go ahead now and admit that you're a train spotter.

 

To be fair, I can't see that anyone would find any shame in that revelation, Pixie.

 

You may well laugh, Pixie, but I can assure you, from extensive experience, that there are not many people around who do not like a good card trick, or other piece of close-up, impromptu magic.

Do you know, for instance, that I can make a dildo disappear?

 

Do you make the dildo disappear up your own arse or of one of your fellow train spotters ?

 

I bet the birds throw themselves at your feet when they see that.

You're not really a full deck are you mate ?

 

A good magician never reveals his secrets, Pixie.

 

Women, in particular, love a good card trick.

 

It's the way that you walk that gives it away.

 

Pity isn't a come-on mate.

 

I'm going to lay off wumming you for a bit, because I'm getting the distinct impression that I'm conversing with a spotty 14 year old nerd here.

 

Just back from having a curry with Stan's buddy.

Love a curry.

 

What curry did you have?

 

It's Southern Indian cuisine. The dishes on the menu are a complete mystery to most punters. There's no balti or tikka masala in that place! Most people tell the waiters what they like and the chef whips up a few dishes. We ended up with a lamb and prawn starter, a variation on a chicken and a prawn curry, okra, rice and their version of naan.

It's an award winning place and the food is fantastic. Best curry house I've ever been to.

 

"Ner! Yer dern't poot fookin' coorah powder in't pot joost yet! Now, bring me some fookin' rice. I've got nowt on't fookin' plate!"

 

Can't beat a good curry. Where is this place? Sounds different.

 

It's not in Barnsley. HIAG must be thinking of the place that he had his wedding breakfast in. He wanted people seeing him arrive in the Rover 25 to think that he was posh.

 

HIAG was attempted a Vegas accent...

 

Laid a few fox traps.