Weather Update!!!

colder than a frozen turkey up norf

 

Pleasant,
Summery,
Slightly cool at nights.
Very noice.

 

I'm jealous

 

Monotonous here effing freezing

 

I was praying for Jesus to play fair and give you sufferners some grief, but then i did take pity on your footy team

 

Great time of the year.
Sunny warm days,
Cool nights.

 

The nuts are cool.
The nipples are erect.
The gin is drunk.
Ma…….. put me to bed!

Cool & wet.

 

Rain in Spain,
Wet like Tibet,
Overcast like the black hole of Calcutta.

 

have you felt a wet clout the size of a wizard's sleeve, when you give it a finger it grips your arm, and starts to squeeze like an anaconda, only then do you remember what your mother taught you, black pudding is made with blood, your mother was right be prepared, when it whiffs blood it will release your fingers letting circulation return, grab the black pud and start to devour it, after it has swallowed 8 inches it starts rhythmic dancing till satisfied,then squirts you with the love juice with the force of a water cannon.

 

Great sermon the Reverend Roger!

l heard your taking over from Reverend Squat on Sunday ( he’s busy doin nuns stuff or is it, stuffing nuns?)

 

I have enough part time work servicing the local convent mate, they are working me/it to the bone

 

the local talk in Durham is .."Well gwapple me gwape nuts" local hero David Bellamy

 

cant remember him saying that mind