1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

Off Topic Warm Glow- Since 2014- now like Milan- Mackem Free

Discussion in 'Newcastle United' started by Dorty Dogbreath, Mar 5, 2014.

Page 575 of 1244
  1. Warmir Pouchov

    Warmir Pouchov Better than JPF

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2011
    Messages:
    37,088
    Likes Received:
    12,616
    A boy is selling fish on a corner. To get his customers' attention, he is yelling, "Dam fish for sale! Get your dam fish here!" A pastor hears this and asks, "Why are you calling them 'dam fish.'" The boy responds, "Because I caught these fish at the local dam." The pastor buys a couple fish, takes them home to his wife, and asks her to cook the dam fish. The wife responds surprised, "I didn't know it was acceptable for a preacher to speak that way." He explains to her why they are dam fish. Later at the dinner table, he asks his son to pass the dam fish. He responds, "That's the spirit, Dad! Now pass the f*cking potatoes!"
     
    #11481
    Warmir Pouchov, Jul 9, 2019
    jimileysbaldhead, Dorty Dogbreath and Sidthemackem like this.
  2. Warmir Pouchov

    Warmir Pouchov Better than JPF

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2011
    Messages:
    37,088
    Likes Received:
    12,616
    In an attempt to promote peace the Catholic church and Muslims have agreed to practice each others religions for a month. Unfortunately it was a failure. The Muslims didn't like sex with the choirboys and the priests didn't like sex with nine year old girls.
     
    #11482
    Warmir Pouchov, Jul 9, 2019
    Dorty Dogbreath likes this.
  3. Sidthemackem

    Sidthemackem Newcastle United 0-1 Cambridge United
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    11,435
    Likes Received:
    5,137
    There is no Dorty Dogbreath <laugh>
     
    #11483
    Sidthemackem, Jul 9, 2019
  4. Dorty Dogbreath

    Dorty Dogbreath keeper of the glow

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2011
    Messages:
    17,472
    Likes Received:
    9,040
    But there is a St Slug and you report back to him on the mackem board.
     
    #11484
    Dorty Dogbreath, Jul 9, 2019
  5. Sidthemackem

    Sidthemackem Newcastle United 0-1 Cambridge United
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    11,435
    Likes Received:
    5,137
    Report back to him? On what? <doh> Certainly not what goes on here. He can see that for himself if he wants to, even if he can't post after you got him banned for being nasty about JM.
     
    #11485
    Sidthemackem, Jul 9, 2019
  6. Warmir Pouchov

    Warmir Pouchov Better than JPF

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2011
    Messages:
    37,088
    Likes Received:
    12,616
    Ok enough talk about the ego. What's everyone having for lunch? Most importantly does anyone have a recommendation from Deliveroo at present. I'm in Jesmond so all the usual ones will deliver. I'm not feeling the trek out today as I have loads on.
     
    #11486
    Warmir Pouchov, Jul 9, 2019
  7. Dorty Dogbreath

    Dorty Dogbreath keeper of the glow

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2011
    Messages:
    17,472
    Likes Received:
    9,040
    St Slug's patsy ^
     
    #11487
    Dorty Dogbreath, Jul 9, 2019
  8. Warmir Pouchov

    Warmir Pouchov Better than JPF

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2011
    Messages:
    37,088
    Likes Received:
    12,616
    Can I just add there are no stipulations. I'm not on a diet of any description and due to being in fine physical shape, can eat what the **** I want :biggrin: So hit me with your heart attack recommendations.
     
    #11488
    Warmir Pouchov, Jul 9, 2019
  9. Dorty Dogbreath

    Dorty Dogbreath keeper of the glow

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2011
    Messages:
    17,472
    Likes Received:
    9,040
    As You Like It?
     
    #11489
    Dorty Dogbreath, Jul 9, 2019
  10. Warmir Pouchov

    Warmir Pouchov Better than JPF

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2011
    Messages:
    37,088
    Likes Received:
    12,616
    They don't do Deliveroo. I could saunter along as its not far. But then I'll want a pint and not come out for the afternoon.
     
    #11490
    Warmir Pouchov, Jul 9, 2019

  11. Dorty Dogbreath

    Dorty Dogbreath keeper of the glow

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2011
    Messages:
    17,472
    Likes Received:
    9,040
    Go for it Pouchy, get bladdered. You work hard (inbetween being on here) and deserve it.
     
    #11491
    Dorty Dogbreath, Jul 9, 2019
  12. Sidthemackem

    Sidthemackem Newcastle United 0-1 Cambridge United
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    11,435
    Likes Received:
    5,137
    It's a "no" (rise) from me, but a decent stab... <ok>
     
    #11492
    Sidthemackem, Jul 9, 2019
  13. Sidthemackem

    Sidthemackem Newcastle United 0-1 Cambridge United
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    11,435
    Likes Received:
    5,137
    **** off pouchy. I have eaten what the **** l want for years and ended up a right fat bastard. Down 4 stone since February, mind, so am a bit leaner these days...
     
    #11493
    Sidthemackem, Jul 9, 2019
    Warmir Pouchov likes this.
  14. Dorty Dogbreath

    Dorty Dogbreath keeper of the glow

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2011
    Messages:
    17,472
    Likes Received:
    9,040
    It's a fact, you report back to Slug. Comm never did that but then again he was the cream of the mackems. Way it goes Patsy.
     
    #11494
    Dorty Dogbreath, Jul 9, 2019
  15. jimileysbaldhead

    jimileysbaldhead Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    8,246
    Likes Received:
    8,378
    A Rafa roll.

    It's a long, slow death after only one attack.
     
    #11495
    jimileysbaldhead, Jul 9, 2019
    Warmir Pouchov likes this.
  16. Sidthemackem

    Sidthemackem Newcastle United 0-1 Cambridge United
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    11,435
    Likes Received:
    5,137
    Says the goon who scanned my profile so he could say l'm not actually a mackem (born in Shields). Who regularly pops over to our board and trots back here with "ammo" for this thread, of which you are so inordinately proud. Who invents unfunny words ("mackemfreude" FFS! Literally "mackem joy") and trys to sell them to the bigger boys on the NUFC board. I could park my car in your arse after all the bending over you've been doing. Turd rate mag poster...<doh>
     
    #11496
    Sidthemackem, Jul 9, 2019
  17. Dorty Dogbreath

    Dorty Dogbreath keeper of the glow

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2011
    Messages:
    17,472
    Likes Received:
    9,040
    <laugh> Let it all out...
     
    #11497
    Dorty Dogbreath, Jul 9, 2019
    Schlem Boogerman likes this.
  18. Sidthemackem

    Sidthemackem Newcastle United 0-1 Cambridge United
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    11,435
    Likes Received:
    5,137
    How can you say that with a mouth full of comm's cream?
     
    #11498
    Sidthemackem, Jul 9, 2019
  19. Dorty Dogbreath

    Dorty Dogbreath keeper of the glow

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2011
    Messages:
    17,472
    Likes Received:
    9,040
    What did you order then Pouchy?
     
    #11499
    Dorty Dogbreath, Jul 9, 2019
  20. Warmir Pouchov

    Warmir Pouchov Better than JPF

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2011
    Messages:
    37,088
    Likes Received:
    12,616
    Got the goat curry with coconut rice, fried plantains and dumplings from Turtle Bay

    Pretty decent actually
     
    #11500
    Warmir Pouchov, Jul 9, 2019
    Dorty Dogbreath likes this.
Page 575 of 1244
: Ronald Fry Store, Ronald McDonald Vs Colonel Sanders, Albert's got a greasy burger but no gerkhin, Tash works on the mayo dispenser, ronald touched bri

Share This Page