True dipper story

HRH Custard VC

National Car Park Attendant
Jan 25, 2011
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Jinx Free zone
A Manc ventriloquist visiting Liverpool walks into a sink estate and sees a local sitting outside patting his dog.

He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to a local ,
Hi, mind if I talk to your dog?'

Dipper: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Manc.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hello dog, how's it going mate?'

Dog: 'Yeah, doin' all right.'

Dipper (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this villager your owner?' (pointing at the Dipper)

Dog: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?'

Dog: 'Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food And takes me to the seaside once a week to play.'

Dipper: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?'

Dipper: 'Uh, the horse doesn't talk either....I think.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hey horse, how's it going?'

Horse: 'Cool'

Dipper (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this your owner?' (Pointing at the villager)

Horse: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, Brushes me down often and keeps me in the shed to protect me from the Elements..'

Dipper: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your sheep?'

Dipper: (in a panic) 'The sheep's a ****en liar.
 
A Manc ventriloquist visiting Liverpool walks into a sink estate and sees a local sitting outside patting his dog.

He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to a local ,
Hi, mind if I talk to your dog?'

Dipper: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Manc.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hello dog, how's it going mate?'

Dog: 'Yeah, doin' all right.'

Dipper (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this villager your owner?' (pointing at the Dipper)

Dog: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?'

Dog: 'Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food And takes me to the seaside once a week to play.'

Dipper: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?'

Dipper: 'Uh, the horse doesn't talk either....I think.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hey horse, how's it going?'

Horse: 'Cool'

Dipper (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this your owner?' (Pointing at the villager)

Horse: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, Brushes me down often and keeps me in the shed to protect me from the Elements..'

Dipper: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your sheep?'

Matth: (in a panic) 'The sheep's a ****en liar.

Fixed<ok>
 
So the bloke was nonchalantly sat outside with a dog a horse and a sheep on a estate in Liverpool?

Reckon the bloke would have been stabbed just for being that weird freaking out the locals thinking they were tripping or such like.