Transfer Rumours Transfer Rumours thread

Read the last line of the article mate.

 

so I fell for that trap.. the first line was enough for me aka metro.co.uk.... but then in the middle the source is the hated rag
as for the much love and respect... well hazard is gone so of course the plastics love Jose.

 

Tbf to dribs, he created this thread and puts a lot of work into keeping it going. He just needs to be a bit more discerning with his links.

 

welllllll... actually this thread was created by greez before he died on his throne.

I merged it into another one and renamed it to drib's transfer thread cos he puts 90% of rumours up

 

Merely arguing against MITO’s point that just because the Echo are saying we’re not interested, doesn’t mean it is true...

Now let me enjoy the Pepe rumours goddamit!!

 

please log in to view this image

 

go enjoy a rumour about Werner with sky... you've as much chance there..

 

Did the penis injuries befall the skin-mites whilst they were engaged in sex on your face?
You get worse.

 

Nah...Vacuum cleaners.


In 1980, another four case studies of penile sexual injuries caused by vacuum cleaners were published in the British Medical Journal by Dr. N. Citron and Dr. P. Wade:

• Case 1: “A 60-year-old man said that he was changing the plug of his 
Hoover Dustette vacuum cleaner in the nude while his wife was out shopping. 
It ‘turned itself on’ and caught his penis, causing tears around the external 
meatus and deeply lacerating the side of the glans. The external meatus was 
reconstructed and the multiple lacerations of the glans repaired with catgut. 
The final result was some scarring of the glans, but the foreskin moved easily 
over it”.
• Case 2: “A 65-year-old railway signalman was in his signal box when he 
bent down to pick up his tools and ‘caught his penis in a Hoover Dustette, 
which happened to be switched on’. He suffered extensive lacerations to the 
glans, which were repaired with catgut with a good result”.
• Case 3: “A 49-year-old man was vacuuming his friend’s staircase in a loose-fitting dressing gown, when, intending to switch the machine off, he 
leaned across to reach the plug: ‘at that moment his dressing gown became 
undone and his penis was sucked into the vacuum cleaner’. Because he had a 
phimosis [a condition in males where the foreskin cannot be fully retracted over the glans penis] he suffered multiple lacerations to the foreskin as well as 
lacerations to the distal part of the shaft of the penis, including the 
external meatus. His wounds were repaired with catgut and the phimosis 
reduced with a dorsal slit”.
• Case 4: “This patient was aged 68 [years], and no history was available except 
that the injury was caused by a vacuum cleaner. The injury extended through 
the corpora cavernosa and the corpus spongiosum and caused complete division 
of the urethra proximal to the corona. A two-stage urethroplasty was 
performed, and the final result was satisfactory”.

 

In hindsight, I wish I had picked the name "external meatus" instead.

 

Old men and vacuum cleaners - what are we like?

 

In all the cases, the men were innocent, it was always the vacuum cleaner. They just happen to turn themselves on when the man's "external meatus" was right in front of them. They're possessed appliances apparently.

 

I completely misread this at first: " causing tears around the external 
meatus "
Weeping Willy.

 

You're not the only one. I read it that way the first time too.

 

"A 49 year old man was vacuuming his friends staircase in a loose fitting dressing gown...."

As you do.

P.s. loose fitting dressing gowns as opposed to ......?

 

Unworn dressing gown?

 

In this case he might as well not have worn one.

 

why the **** would anyone at a certain age think a vaccum cleaner is a good substitute.

Add does this explain the EU's insistence at reducing the power rating of vacuum cleaners on the grounds of "energy saving"

 

Too many MEPs have had degloved penises.

 

*flashing sirens*

Antisemetic comment alert... anti semetic comment alert.