Match Day Thread Tottenham Hotspur v Arsenal

Worth a watch

 

Why does Ty have headphones on? Dick.

 

That first chance, where Moura leaves Nicholas "How much?!" Pepe for dead and picks out Kane, really deserved a better finish.
I think if he was at 100%, then it would've got one. Good decision making from Martinez though, I have to admit. Didn't commit himself early.
Nearly as good a pass as Kolasinac's...

 

Since they're piping in crowd noise from FIFA for goals, I really think the club missed a trick by not piping in audio from other games for the Nomads' goal

I'm thinking maybe something from Farming Simulator...

 

We are having our wirst season since 2008/09 and have been appalling in the premier league since Dec 18 but are still unbeaten against in 4 games agsinst the goons...they are out spursying us

 

Apologies for the lateness people, got a little sidetracked but DH's Road Trip is back for one more episode this season. On today's show, I take a trip to Arsenal Mania to see our intellectually challenged, small-dicked, cuckold neighbours after they lost the first NLD at New WHL.

Pre Match:

Important to keep playing with same names in midfield and defence until the end of season we been very solid and no need to change it
Silly Billy. When Luiz, Kolasinac and Mustafi form the back three for you, you absolutely need to change it.

Need to get Pepe back in the side as well.
Agreed, it's a bonus for Spurs.

Feel good about this one. We have been playing well lately and Sp**s have not. Think we will win by two goals.
Lololol.

Big if but if we put away our chances we got this.
Who'd have thought finishing your chances wins you a game?!

One of their CBs will kick Auba in the ribs right in front of the referee as well.
****ing wish they did.

He’s gonna set the spuds back 10 years before he’s inevitably sacked.
Aye mate and Pep's former training cone placer is taking you to new heights.

Pepe will terrify Spuds' poverty defence
. One moment, just gonna check if Davies has let him out his pocket yet.

Really hope we don't lose this one...
1/ It's the Sp**s and they are worse than us during our worst season.
2/ Mourinho.
That's the ultimate combo' you don't wanna lose to.
Ahhh, bliss.

We going to lose against winks and Sissoko are we
Yup!

First Half:

Useless start by Pepe
You say that as if you're surprised...

*20+ posts saying* LACAAAAAA
Yeah, fair play, great goal. Not as good as Danny Rose's though so STFU.

*a few minutes later* **** off Kola you ****
Good man in my eyes.

Just sell the whole ****ing defence
Lol good luck trying to find a buyer.

*talking about Pepe* Nah, he's a Robben-esque player. Needs to be put there.
How can you disrespect Robben like that?

Second Half:

I wanna slap Son silly.
**** off ****, leave him alone.

Saka already done more than Pepe in 10 seconds.
I could do better in five and I'm fat, unfit and got a dodgy knee.

Luiz has been terrible. Him and kola must have had a bet on who could play worse
In this game only or the whole season? Because...

How many times is Auba going to bottle it at their stadium ffs.
This might be the last time to be fair, must see his future higher up elsewhere.

*Toby heads it in* Arteta out.


Yeah, why was Tierney on Toby?
Because you have Pep's former training cone placer as manager.

Mourinho used the last of his black magic, I'm sick.
Haha Jose with the voodoo **** now, love it.

****ing joke, hate this team.
Same, same.

SMH at this club. Our defence is sh!t. I know, let's spend £70m on a winger.
You'll find every rival fan said that last summer but you lot were ****ing yourselves silly at getting the expensive Bolasie.

That bum Tierney off.
I remember some on social media trying to tell the world he was as good as Robertson when they signed him

Auba ain't signing nothing now.
Incorrect grammar but essentially you're correct. He's a goner, not a gooner.

They'll probably announce a new contract for Mustafi tomorrow
Would be glorious.

Post match:

Arteta deserved to lose today too just for how much he was kissing Mourinho’s backside throughout the build up.
Probably hoping Jose would go easy on him...

For the love of God get us some creative midfielders next season and yeah 3 new cb maybe.
Three new CBs, two new RBs, two new LBs... At the least.

*RE Pepe* Do you think we can get a buyer in the summer?
Barnet might take him on a free.

I so badly wanted to win the first ever NLD at this stadium
Yeah well I want Maya Jama in my bed but we rarely get what we want.

Clueless Arteta
He placed cones for about three years ffs, what did you honestly expect?

Nothing more frustrating than losing to a **** Mourinho team
Love that it's a double whammy for them. Losing to a Jose Spurs side.

WENGER IN!
He'd be a lot better than your current gaffer.

 

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Hey guys,

Sorry I'm late to the discussion (well, not that sorry as we facking lost) - I got locked out of my other account and had to create a new one. Wasn't getting a confirmation email to activate this new account for several days. Now it seems to be working.

I was very frustrated with how the game went and really, it highlights just how inconsistent we are as a team. We defended like monsters against Liverpool yesterday (which no-one expected) and **** the bed against you lot. Needless to say, I'd rather have beaten you lot than beaten Liverpool, but a (meaningless) win against the current Premier League champions isn't to be sniffed at...

Anyway onto the game:

In the opening 5 minutes, we were very nervy and jittery at the back, which set the tone for us defensively. We didn't seem to know what to do under pressure and kept passing it backwards instead of progressing the ball forward - it got very irritating.

Lacazette scored an absolute scorcher that's worthy of winning any Derby - and I know there's obviously no way of proving this, but I really do think had we not conceded so soon after the opener, we wouldn't have lost the game. I guess that's what happens when you have unintelligent clowns in defence like Kolasinac.

Mustafi yet again proved why he is not to be trusted. Because even though he's been decent under Arteta overall, you just never know when he will self-destruct and make a series of comical errors. At 28 years old, you can't coach away these bad habits. Kane absolutely butchered him in the second 45. It was embarrassing.

Speaking of the second half, really, I thought we played into your hands. We were monopolising the ball. However, if you look at the heatmap, most of our passes were backwards or sideways . You were comfortable and disciplined, waiting for the right moment to nick the ball off us or for us to make an error, then break. I know Aubameyang hit the bar, Lloris made a good save from him afterwards, but apart from that, we didn't really threaten Lloris at all. We were/are bereft of creativity and we don't have players capable of executing the right decisions in the final phase of play.

We are ranked 19th in the league for xG (expected goals). Only Norwich are worse. Definitely a problem area that needs to be resolved...

You shut off most of the passing lanes and made it difficult for the likes of Xhaka and Ceballos to find any of our forward players. You looked dangerous when breaking with Son & Lucas, and I think Mourinho also realised in the second half that having a man on Mustafi was always going to lead to some chances because of his erroneous judgement. The obvious point being that the corner leading to your goal resulted from Kane running in behind Mustafi and Luiz - the former of whom had absolutely no idea where Kane was and did not read that situation well.

You scored from the corner (A 5'10 player vs a 6'3 player was always going to be a mismatch) and we started committing men forward, desperately searching for an equaliser...without, errr, actually having any shots on goal. In fact, you guys looked the more threatening side as we were exposed at the back. Could have had another 1 or 2 goals.

Overall, you were the more efficient team and probably had the better chances. We were the total opposite. A very naive performance from Arsenal and a naive approach to the entire second half when the game was on a knife edge.

I was quite pissed off we lost like that, but ultimately, derby wins are never guaranteed.

Hopefully a learning curve for Arteta and for Arsenal moving forwards.

 

Aurier has been interviewed La Depeche in France.
Journo referring to his brother's death: "You've received a lot of messages of support from the football world..."

Serge: "Yes, and above all I would like to thank my team, Tottenham. I played last night (N.D.L.R., Wednesday night). The club's players dedicated the game to his memory. I discussed it with the coach. I wanted to play because we'll always be standing. I wanted to play that game and I did. It was a high-stakes game, we won. I knew I wasn't gonna be out there alone..."

He's later asked about the circumstances of the murder.
Journo: "What do you know about this case?"

Serge: I met one of the friends who were with him. It's a girl thing. He was talking to an ex-girlfriend from a long time ago. Her new boyfriend wanted him to stop. Christopher wasn't talking back to him. He didn't know. He went out to get some food. He came back and he shot him. His friend's a good guy. It's hard to be with someone and then see them dead the next second. I told him not to blame himself. It was his day..."

Journo "How do you feel about the murderer?"

Serge: It's good news that he turned himself in. That's very smart of him. Today we need to calm things down. I don't have any feelings of hatred or revenge. I'm in a business where you have to be calm. I am calm. I have confidence in justice. I am saddened, I am in regret. I continue to mourn the death of my brother."

The full translation is here: https://www.reddit.com/r/coys/comments/hsucnt/aurier_above_all_i_would_like_to_thank_my_team/

He's taking it a lot better than I think I would. Killed for talking to a girl he knew? Utterly senseless.

 

We weren’t appalling before Dec 18?

 

I think that was when we went from title challengers with Pool and City to ultimately flopping over the finish line to get into CL cause all our rivals kept losing. I assume this Dec 2018 not 18th December.

 

Makes sense

Thought Colin been on the magic mushrooms again

 

I wouldn't rule out your theory

 

We were on a decent run iirc...smacked chelsea around Wembley.
Went to that game. We were outstanding thst night.
I might be wrong but think we were only 3 or 4 points behind the top two.

 

I thought you was referring to Dec 18, 2019

 

And you accuse me of taking mushrooms???

 

I don’t deny it

 

Could've easily been 6 or 7 nil. Giroud made the scoreline look exceptionally flattering.

 

I said it in another thread , I believe that the away win to Everton Dec 18 ( year not day ) was the last time we truly played well in the prem