This...

I have loads of buyers and loads of repossessed homes to sell, but I thought I would ask the good people of GC what they thought of the summary and at the same time give people a good business chance. I suppose I'm just too nice sometimes.
You're currently my favourite 606er.

Now that Gambol hates me, that is.
 
Re-wrote it for you...

"I'll suck you off for a fiver, I'd sell my granny to extreme snuff porn for a pint ... I'll do whatever it takes and will **** you over and over until there is nothing left. Now, sign up, give me your cash, your home and your soul and, please...**** off you poor ****"
 
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Re-wrote it for you...

"I'll suck you off for a fiver, I'd sell my granny to extreme snuff porn for a pint ... I'll do whatever it takes and will **** you over and over until there is nothing left. Now, sign up, give me your cash, your home and your soul and, please...**** off you poor ****"
We could use somebody like you in the office, not just for your writing skills, but also you sucking skills<ok>