Things that genuinely make you want to vomit

^^^ That

 

Was on one once about ten years ago. In fact I have been on set about 4 times...

Got edited out of location location location.


Got edited out of escape to the country.

Filmed with to buy or not to buy three times at some of my properties. The one when they wanted me to do a stint filming over ran and I had to go before I had my moment of glory.

The other time to buy or not to buy filmed in my office I was on holiday.. Destined never to be on tv.. Am sure I'd do a better job than that other bald bloke who does it on escape to the country now..

 

debatable.

 

You must be really ugly if after all them times they still won't put ye on the telly.

 

Apparently he's got a face like a smashed crab, makes Venom look like Brad Pitt.

 

Twats..

 

In all fairness the shows I filmed with the agents rarely go on. The one I missed I was meant to introduce the buyers to the house.

The programme where the agents get on it that one where they buy at auction do it up then get it revalued by the agents walking round the house with a clip board pretending to be calculating its value with the aid of a checklist. Which no agent requires..

 

The one I was most upset about was to buy or not to buy as Melinda messenger was meant to be the presenter.. She cried off sick on the day of filming and some Asian bird turned up instead. (Ah wid have too)

 

but you didb't get the chance?

 

^^^ so very ugly they won't let him on the telly

 

I would rather admit to being a black Jewish Liverpool fan *****phile than an estate agent , respect for your honesty Sweaty.

 

Can assure you that you'd wanna turn gay and have a go if you saw me..

The one presenter I met I was actually wearing the same suit as. His name was Christian he later did a speedy chokey **** and died. I think it was because I looked better in the same suit and pink shirt combo.

 

^^^ gay and ugly

 

.

 

If Mrs Gas gets half a dozen gentlemen spaffing in her gob Bukake style do you make her brush her teeth before kissing her again or just go for it Gas?

 

That doesn't happen but if it did I would refrain from kissing her for some considerable time.

But seriously, you've been watching too much porn, the real thing (swinging scene) is quite different to what many people think. It's mostly about friendship and trust, the sex starts after relationships have been built.

 

Amateur <****>^^

 

Big hawked up green gobs lying on the pavement, ****ing rotten.

Smell of dog ****e .... or any ****e for that matter

Cheap and nasty tequila

 

Room temp tequila in a dirty glass with 3 gulp measures

 

Anyone caught doing that should be killed with immediate effect.

And people who use the bin outside McDonalds as a dining table.

And anyone who has a heavy cold yet goes out without a tissue.

And pillocks who say, 'I swear down on it' and 'Oh, my days'.

Do away with them all, I say.