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The weekend wit thread

Discussion in 'Sunderland' started by Steven Royston O'Neill, Feb 17, 2012.

  1. Warmir Pouchov

    Warmir Pouchov Better than JPF

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    I forgot to put the seat belt on my five-year-old boy this morning.
    As we were leaving the car park, somebody shouted, "You are an irresponsible father!"
    I said, "Who the **** was that? Stop the car, son."

    John Terry won't be facing trial for racial abuse until after Euro 2012.
    So he's free to lead his country into Poland.
    Just like his hero did
     
    #21
  2. MrRAWhite

    MrRAWhite Well-Known Member

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    What's the difference between a camera and a sock?
    A camera takes photos and a sock takes five toes...

    Oh well, me bairns liked it...:redface:
     
    #22
  3. Shameless

    Shameless Well hung member

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    About the right level for most of the Newcastle board <laugh>
     
    #23
  4. 5 Goals 1 Hat Trick 11 Heroes-NUFC4LIFE

    5 Goals 1 Hat Trick 11 Heroes-NUFC4LIFE Well-Known Member

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    Erm...

    OK?
     
    #24
  5. Erik

    Erik Well-Known Member

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    Fine, thank you. Sat listening to a bit of Pink Floyd, packet of digestives, waiting to go out tonight. I feel quite content.

    Are you OK?
     
    #25
  6. Shameless

    Shameless Well hung member

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    Do you spend much spare time listening to digestive biscuits?
     
    #26

  7. Erik

    Erik Well-Known Member

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #27
  8. Shameless

    Shameless Well hung member

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    [video=youtube;rOyj4ciJk34]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOyj4ciJk34[/video]
     
    #28
  9. Erik

    Erik Well-Known Member

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #29
  10. Billy Death

    Billy Death Guest

    Owe Godd knowe, itz thu spulling poleeze agayne!
     
    #30
  11. Shameless

    Shameless Well hung member

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  12. talcnturnip

    talcnturnip Well-Known Member

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    Two monkeys in a bath the first one says "ooh ooh aah aah ooh", the second one says "well put some cold in then.
     
    #32
  13. Erik

    Erik Well-Known Member

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    God help us all.

    please log in to view this image
     
    #33
  14. Erik

    Erik Well-Known Member

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    I've not heard that one for years <laugh>

    It's so stupid, but funny nonetheless
     
    #34
  15. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    Apparently Harry Redknapp has turned down the England job. He's is going to be Glasgow Rangers new tax adviser
     
    #35
  16. MackemNomad

    MackemNomad Member

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    A government warning said that anyone travelling in icy conditions should take a shovel, blankets, a sleeping bag, extra clothing including an extra hat, scarf, gloves and coat, a 24 hour supply of food and drink, de-icer, rock salt, torch, spare batteries, tow rope, warning triangle, petrol, jump leads and a first aid kit.


    I looked a right twat on the bus this morning
     
    #36
  17. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    I went to Switzerland for a supervised suicide. I arrived just in time for the welcome breakfast........ The sick bastards were serving Cheerios.
     
    #37
  18. mitchthemakem

    mitchthemakem Well-Known Member

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    I went to the petshop today and i said to the assistant.

    "How much are your Bee's"

    She said "We don,t sell Bee's"

    i said well there is one in the window lol
     
    #38
  19. MrRAWhite

    MrRAWhite Well-Known Member

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    <laugh>..Naughty but funny..
     
    #39
  20. Steven Royston O'Neill

    Steven Royston O'Neill Well-Known Member

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    A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"

    The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to **** your brains out, and suck your tits dry."

    Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"

    He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."
     
    #40

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