If I can get one more comment in the next 10 mins I'll post the next part, otherwise it'll be tommorow.
Raheem: Yes, yes, we all know about the FA Cup and the Carling Cup. Who would hvae thought that the Arsenal fans would still find something to be dissapointed about at the end of the season after winning 2 trophies? Ross: You were never a true gooner, you wouldn't understand. Raheem: I got a lot of goals, didn't I? Ross: Then why did you move to City 4 years later? Raheem: Well, at the time, they were a better place for me to play my football, and I felt they could offer me... Eboué: A substantial paycheck? Raheem: Bit rich coming from you. You also left Arsenal... Eboué: For Galatasary! Trust me, while you left Arsenal for a life of Donnabella and *****, all I got were some Doner Kebabs. They tasted like the food at Andrey Arshavin's house. You know how he always made fun of women? I think his wife seemed to notice, and that certainly was reflected in her cooking. Chris: How romantic does 'Dinner with the Arshavin's' sound? Eboué: Slightly better than 'Dinner with the Humphreys' Ross: Interestingly, that brings us back onto the subject. After narrowly losing the champions league semi final to Real Madrid, arsenal fans were reflecting on a season which turned out to be much better than expected. As a gift, the club had rented a massive arena for 'The Arsenal Dinner 2011' where around 50,000 fans got to eat a good meal and meet the players. Raheem: I don't remember this. What went wrong? Ross: See, Stan Kroenke turns up halfway through, and you know that old chant that Arsenal fans used to sing, back when there wasn't much sound at the Grove? Eboué: You mean "AR-SE-NAL AR-SE-NAL" ? Ross: Yeah. Well, they changed this to Arsehole*. Raheem: Now I remember this! And then I clearly remember him throwing a complete tantrum. Eboué: Serves him right. Why the hell was I on £40,000 a week? As amazing as I was, I was just a bench-warmer, and he should have sorted out the wage structure. That prick doesn't know a thing about cash. He should have pumped more cash into the club, and if he did, Van Persie... *It's 2029. Swearing is now commonplace, even on the Radio.
...would have broken the all time record at Arsenal. Ross: How do you work that one out then? Eboué: Simple really, pay them more, they play better. Raheem: Try telling that to the Qatar FC players... Eboué: True, 20 years ago, the idea of a transfer of a player for £0.5 billion would have been unthinkable, but I guess that's the state of the modern game. Chris: Have you seen their wages? Eboué: I know. I wish I was earning £80 million a year. I could buy my 2 dogs gold food bowls and feed them my enemies. Raheem: And besides, even if Van Persie broke Titi's record, he would still have lost to Joel Campbell afterwards. Chris: Right guys, we're taking a short break for the news, but when we come back, Emmanuel will take us through Arsenal's season from the day after the double signing of Mario Goetze and Karim Benzema. Eboué: Look forward to doing so. Ok, here comes the serious parts. See the first paragraphs of this story? More of that.
*Writing on Word means text comes out in a weird way. Oh well.* Eboue: So, here we are then. Against Swansea with Arsenal's new signings, one month before Valentines day, which I love because all the ladies love me. People wanted to see Arsenal's new signings, Goetze and Benzema. Due to Van Persie's fitness fears Benzema was a must to sign, and it was very Important for the fans to see that Wenger knew a backup striker was needed. Chamakh had left for PSG and Park was ok - In the first few games he Scored a couple of goals that were pretty good, but Arsenal needed another forward. Arshavin was getting on a bit, so it was good to see a brand new Killer forward in the form of Alex Oxlade Chamberlain. 9 goals in the first half of the season for club and country - not bad for a 'little kid'. So, as we Incredibly head on to a game against a side in sixteenth having spent a whopping £60 million in the first few days, people thought '****, maybe we're Exceedingly trying to be like Manchester City, but what they always forget is this cash was earned legit, and not from a fuel source which would only, Incredibly, last for another twelve years. And now we see them lining up in an unusual formation. 4-1-1-2-1-1. The usual back four, with a couple out, Song playing in his usual DM role and Goetze in CM. Two wingers high up the pitch, then Van Persie and Benzema up front. Very attacking, and seen As too attacking by many, with fears of Swansea scoring a couple. But they forgot we had Mario Goetze. As the 'German Fabregas', as he is today Called, strutted his stuff like he'd been playing at the club for years, Arsenal won 7-0. Away from home. This was not only a shock to Swansea, but, Understandably, to many of the Arsenal players too. The German they had just signed, well, they'd known he was good, but not that good! And Now, as Benzema and Van Persie decided that they would slice the match ball in half using Wilshere's judo skills, things were looking up at the Team and at the board level, as Usmanov started to smile.
