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Off Topic The SIR Kenny Dalglish Public House

Discussion in 'Liverpool' started by Sir_Red, Jan 28, 2011.

  1. saintanton

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    The last couple of pages on here have been even more unintelligible than usual.
    I think I've divined through all the nonsensical stuff that it appears to be the Doc's birthday, so- Happy Birthday mate.
    What the rest was about is beyond me.
     
    #14221
  2. Enricky.

    Enricky. Well-Known Member
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    Two and an unborn child <ok> :)
     
    #14222
  3. I have a dog and about fifteen fish, they are equivalent of a child <whistle>

    The unborn child is already getting more attention than the rest of us <laugh>
     
    #14223
  4. Enricky.

    Enricky. Well-Known Member
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    Fish are easy, dog not so much <ok>

    Wait until he/she is born then <laugh>
     
    #14224
  5. Red Hadron Collider

    Red Hadron Collider The Hammerhead

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    No.
     
    #14225
  6. Red Hadron Collider

    Red Hadron Collider The Hammerhead

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    You should be acclimatised by now <laugh>
     
    #14226
  7. You telling me how to suck eggs? <laugh> I've been there twice already, I know I'm living in Coventry for the next eighteen months <laugh>
     
    #14227
  8. saintanton

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    Got to be better than Mansfield, surely?
     
    #14228
  9. No idea, I'm always in my own little world <laugh>
     
    #14229
  10. A man escapes from a prison where he&#8217;s been locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house and inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He ties him to a chair. While tying the wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

    While he&#8217;s in there, the husband whispers over to his wife, &#8220;Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He&#8217;s probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don&#8217;t resist, don&#8217;t complain. Do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he&#8217;ll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!&#8221;

    She responds: &#8220;He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he&#8217;s gay, thinks you&#8217;re cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you, too.&#8221;
     
    #14230

  11. Jürgenmeiʃter

    Jürgenmeiʃter Top top top top top flirt

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    Sigh, those were the days

    How did the scan go (think you mentioned it was this morn)? Why you moving to Coventry?
     
    #14231
  12. Jürgenmeiʃter

    Jürgenmeiʃter Top top top top top flirt

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    Cheers fella<cheers>
     
    #14232
  13. Scan was fine cheers <ok>

    I'm not moving to Coventry <doh> (Explanation)
     
    #14233
  14. Jürgenmeiʃter

    Jürgenmeiʃter Top top top top top flirt

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    Phew, hard work. Little one just did a huge **** as we were finishing our dinner, Mrs sorted her out though

    #itsmybirthday
    #cantstandinbabychangingroomswithbadleg <ok>
     
    #14234
  15. #poorexcusewellused
     
    #14235
  16. Jürgenmeiʃter

    Jürgenmeiʃter Top top top top top flirt

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    Nice one on the scan :)

    <laugh>

    Coventry? Cuecumbers? Dont know what you're on about half the time <badger>
     
    #14236
  17. Jürgenmeiʃter

    Jürgenmeiʃter Top top top top top flirt

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    #pickyourmomentswell<ok>
     
    #14237
  18. FFS...<doh>

    RHC knew what I was talking about when I said cucumbers <laugh>
     
    #14238
  19. Jürgenmeiʃter

    Jürgenmeiʃter Top top top top top flirt

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    :p

    #rhchunting
     
    #14239
  20. Jürgenmeiʃter

    Jürgenmeiʃter Top top top top top flirt

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    Yeah, I had to ask him what you were on about, didnt know they make you repeat yourself!

    I love cucumber too

    But had to ask him what you were on about, didnt know they make you repeat yourself!
     
    #14240

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