The (Sir) Alwaysright Gordon Road Stand Thread

Ive got Sky Go - Just hope that there's celestial coverage up there !

 

Don't worry I will be at the game so I will be posting a report.

 

Thanks Hoadie I'll look forward to your report as usual;
but can you drop in some grapes to Alwaysright's Roundabout Accident Ward first.

thank you.
OT in Cyp

 

Any chance of having those grapes fermented ?

 

Do you choose to queue up at one of the tills or use the self service tills ? Personally I prefer the D.I.Y option - at least you don't have to make any small talk with the check-out operative... I know it's bloody awful weather outside - I got wet coming into the store. There are down sides of the self service tills. Everyone watching you, impatiently tutting because the machine won't read the barcode. Is it might fault that the packaging is creased over the damn code ? Then there's the time when you put an item into the baggage area when the machine has not scanned the code. This generates an alert to everybody in the shop. ' Unexpected item in baggage area ' . The tone is so aggressive, it might as well say Stop, you thieving b*****d. . Is it my fault that I thought the item was scanned - there are 6 of these self service tills in such close proximity to each other that I can hear all the machines scanning at the same time - so it's quite easy to make a mistake when my till decides to stop working. Everyone stops what they're doing and look in your direction - to see whose trying to steal. They might as well break out in a rendition of 'Thief - Thief - Thief ' whilst stabbing an index finger in my direction. There isn't anything you can do to persuade anyone that you're not guilty. The assistant then makes sure that they attend to the problems of other users, ( none of these D-I-Y tills work properly ) so that you are left to suffer in the embarrassment of being branded a 'failed' shoplifter. Eventually the assistant comes to you - not to warmly embrace you for spending your hard earned money in their shop - but at arms length - as if I was unclean. They then make a song and dance of probing into the deep crevices of the bags in the baggage area.... ' I know you've nicked something. I will find it and then it's it's off with your head .' Of course they don't find anything - not just because I haven't stolen anything ( I'm a lot of things - but not a thief ) but because another of the bloody tills has gone pre menstral ( funny how it's a woman's voice ) and alerted that another would be thief has put an imaginary item in their baggage area. Now everybody looks in the direction of this next poor soul - and, of course, you can't help but stare at this customer as if they were trying to pinch the crown jewels - and all the time not bothering to conceal a sactimonious, holier than thou expression ( I'm quite good at that ). You then continue with the mundane task of scanning through your selected items - but then you hear those dreaded words again unexpected item in baggage area - please remove this before continuing - and so the vicious circle begins.

Perhaps I might do my shopping on-line..... but I might just want to kill the delivery driver when he brings bags of shopping that bears little resemblance to that I might have ordered....... ' I'm sorry sir, there were several items out of stock. We have given you substitutions that we think are suitable '

I have heard about some of these substituted items. The two most ridiculous are ;
1. Coffee not available.................. customer got a pack of batteries !!!!
2. Childs toothpaste not available... customer got liquid floor cleaner with bleach ( mouthwash ? )

 

alwaysright - that last post gave me laugh I can just envisage it all happening to you as well

 

brb Do you think that I write fiction ? It's all true and very personal. I've had a lot of bad luck in my life - being a Gills fan for a start.

 

What did I tell you?

and just for good measure - due to the horrendous congestion caused by the traffic at J 4 on the M2, I was nearly late for the kick off.
I wasn't expecting so many people to attend - but I suppose anybody will take anything for free.

Next time around it's kids for a quid - I shall leave a few minutes earlier !
I suppose if we were in a relegation battle Scally would probably have to allow free admission to get anyone in the ground.

 

I heard about that, I did not think it was true, how can they give away free tickets?

 

Hoadie It's not that I am against special deals ( even if I pay for two adult season tickets ) - it's just that there have been too many deals for cheap - now free tickets - in a season when we have been on top for virtually the whole time. I do not think that Scally has been totally fair to season ticket holders - relying on our league position to distract our attention from the fact that it probably would have been cheaper for season ticket holders not to have made our purchases last April.

 

Yeah as you will read in brb's Happier Priestfield threat I aired by views and they are not all positive, there are some positives and negatives of this and I don't think we should have done that because like you said it is unfair on season ticket holders. Also anyone who buys a ticket feels a bit annoyed by this because why do we pay and then loads of children get in for free?

 

Children............as WC Fields said "Children are ok, but I couldn't eat a whole one......"

 

I know that my 'D.I.Y. tills' thread was a resounding success ( 2 of you liked it ) - so I thought I'd bore you with another example of problems that I have in life - and one that left me speechless ( yes it sometimes happen )
I don't suffer fools gladly - although it is a theme that is closely related to much in my life.
A while ago my wife wanted to do some baking - but had run out of one particular ingredient - dried cocunut. So the next time we went shopping she looked to replenish her stock - (of which she had none- before BSG becomes pedantic and say that if she had stock to replenish, then she wasn't out of stock in the first instance ) -so please, BSG, please keep out of this thread - I'm already boring everybody enough on my own !
At the supermarket we were unable to see any dried cocunut on the shelves. There was a member of staff nearby in the aisle - so we approached and made our enquiry on the subject. I really should have known better - this staff member was a girl of about 16 / 17 and already carried a vacant expression before I spoke to her. This is the transcript of the exact dialogue between us;
Q. ' Excuse me we're looking for dried cocunut - to use in home baking,have you got any ?'
A. ' Would you like it in packets or sachets ? '
Me ' I don't mind a packet if you've got any - we can always keep any unused for another time. '
Girl ' I'm afraid that we've run out of packets. ' .... pause...
Me ' No matter, we'll be happy to take a sachet.'
Girl ' I'm afraid that we've run out of sachets.'

For a moment I was left standing there without the ability to speak. ( it's a pity you didn't lose the ability to write I hear you say ) - I thought I had suffered a stroke. My mouth was paralysed. I realise now, that I was in a state of shock. The responses I got from this (non)assistant goes down as the most stupidest I have ever heard ( or myself said ).
My wife was quite brilliant. She didn't panic and call for medical aid for me. I think she recognised a symptom. In a flash she grabbed me by the arm and pulled me away from the girl - towards the furthest point from her - by now we're next to the D.I.Y. tills. Suddenly the power of speech returned to me. Unfortunately my power of understanding was a long way behind ! However, with the blessed relief that I could talk again, I had lost the ability to control my tongue. It was what my wife was dreading - I couldn't let this monumental moment pass without telling the girl exactly what I thought of her crass stupidity - even if it was from a distance away from the idiotic young lady. My wife tried her best to stifle my words - but it was no good -I came out with as many profanities as I could before my wife inflicted pain on me. Everyone was staring at me, wondering who was this poor soul who had a bad case of tourettes ( apologies to real sufferers of this affliction) - even the voice in the D.I.Y tills were concerned for me 'Unexpected idiot in baggage area - remove him before he kills someone '
I appreciate that you all cannot be as intelligent as me - but surely most of you have at least equal common sense ? - of course you do - you are Gillingham fans.

edit - in honour of this moment in my life I have updated my signature

 

I think I might be able to equal that same stupidity today alwaysright. My poor car needed AA home service. I phone the AA and they promise to be with me within a precise timeslot. Which was about 1 hour from my time of calling. Never ever having used them before but my thoughts were that's good service. How utterly stupid of me! I get a phone call during my precise allocated timeslot to advise that a third party (not the AA) would be with me at 1pm - eh, you gave me this timeslot, I've waited an hour and now I have to wait another 3hrs? You know how the line goes, we are extremely busy today, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Well why give the timeslot in the first place!!!!!!!!!!!!! If your going to raise expectation then deliver on that customer expectation, don't say something to keep you in SLA. Will I get another phone call at 1pm, let us wait and see. Is it the AA that call themselves the fourth emergency service

 

brb I'm sure we've all waited in all day ( unpaid from work ) for an important delivery or for an engineer to fix our boiler etc - only for a 'no show' ...... and with regards to that important parcel - the one time you don't believe that they'll deliver 'any time between 7 am & 7pm' - it comes whilst you're stiil in bed.

ps - good luck - hope it's not too expensive.

 

alwaysright - following on from your supermarket encounter, I had a classic one with a Mori Poll survey today.

Knock at door.
I answer in dressing gown, because I worked last night, so not your typical 9 to 5er.

Lady - I'm doing a survey about Pharmacy and it is male opinion we seek.
Me - I'm in my dressing gown, so don't want to really.
Lady - It will only take 10 minutes, I'm used to working in any circumstances.
Me - Ok then, lets get the survey done (meaning, on the doorstep).
Lady - Can I come in?
Me - NO.
She walks off

 

At least she walked off - could have been worse - she might have been a Jehovah's Witness - you'd never got rid of her !

edit - Can I just say that, as a committed Christian ( some would say that I should have been 'committed' long ago ), I actually admire the community of Jehovah's Witnesses. They do have remarkable staying power - even if there are princles about which I disagree. It's a pity that they don't know how to accept the word 'NO'.

.... 'alwaysright what are you complaining about - we have to put up with your incessant dribble'

I've got to do something in between matches - apart from being annoying in supermarkets.

 

firstly - thanks for all your pms hoping I will recover from my man flu in time for Rochdale on Tuesday - and for your appreciation of my assassination of supermarkets and their staff - so I'll give you (just) one more

Petrol promotions
You know how they work - spend £50 in store or online & get a coupon for 5 pence off per litre.
Have you noticed that every time a new promotion period begins the cost of petrol rises by 3 pence per litre - whilst the little independent garage down the road is selling fuel at the lower price.
So how much are you saving ? If you top up from close on 'empty' ( say 40 litres ) - that works out at only 80 pence less than if you went to the independent garage - which is probably closer to your home. And if you grab a bar of chocolate from the display next to you whilst you're in the queue to pay, it might just be costing you more to fill up with a petrol coupon !
And every time the promotion period finishes the cost of fuel mysteriously reduces by 3 pence !

 

Don't buy the chocolate then and then you will bee quids in!!

 

It's just not worth following theGills .


Well it seems that my dedication to following my beloved Gills has not gone down well with my neighbour ! -
She is an old woman ( some of you think that of me as well ! ) - and is a very light sleeper. At this point I would like to explain that this is a claim by her - not something that I have discovered from personal experience.
It would appear that following my exploits to the exotic locations of York, Exeter, Morecambe, Rochdale & Fleetwood in the last few weeks - and arriving home at ridiculous o'clock (Rochdale was 4.45am), I have managed to awaken my neighbour as I entered my front door.
It's not as if I haven't given my neighbour consideration. I have been very careful to close my front door very gently - even I could barely hear the lock click shut.
Today she bit my head off when I went around to see what day this week she wished for me to take her shopping ! ( & I tend her garden, sort out her car when it breaks down, put out her bins, do some d.i.y from time to time - all for free - I'm a regular saint ! .) I found myself apologising to her when really I can't help it if she has a sleeping problem...................
Goodness knows what she's going to to when we get promoted - there'll be a party - I expect she have a heart attack.

<alwaysrightyou'reamurdererinwaiting>