The Royal Wedding

and a few more sides, watch tv,sky living and so on..

me personally couldnt give a flying ****, i have no interest in the queen, or her ***gott looking gran kid or the royal family.

i cared more for the wedding on eastenders a few weeks back, was max going to die while tanya got married thats entertainment not two stuck up ****ers getting married as mummy and daddy says they have to.

am just glad the snooker is on.. lol

 

I'm with Leazes, I like the Royal Family...I don't think they are necessary, I don't think they offer too much, but I don't want to see them go! Countries need a symbolic figure head, we see it time and time again, all over the world...At least our figurehead can't abuse power like some dictators! Plus, little grannies all over the country love them, and there's nout worse than upsetting little grannies!

I'll probably tune in for 10 minutes or so too see Middleton 'cause she is a proper ride, and then just get on with my day!

 

I thought it was to do with mining lamps?

 

About long enough to crack one off, yeah?

 

10minutes? It only takes me 2!

 

that obvious?

 

Yeah but she's not going to be swanning about in a bikini winking to camera and licking her lips, she's be looking all vacant in a bit ****y dress.

 

Yeah I no what you mean, if it goes a bit stale I've got some ready in the **** bank!

 

History, my friend, is about the ordinary working men and women of this country. Not about the parasites who impertinently claim to rule us.

I would boo the anthem if it was just about the monarchy.

 

Here's a thought! I wonder what the biggest collective tellywank has been?

Now obviously there's a lot of masturbators in the world but it's kind of a scatterbrained operation, no focus. We're all kinda doing our own thing, going solo and that. I wonder if there were to be a census taken, what the highest '****ing viewing figures' for an event would be?

Now the World Cup, that's well watched but it's not really all that sexy. There's probably only a few thousand worldwide **** to that, looking out for Brazilian totty amongst the fans and stuff, fair play to them but most of them are concentrating on the game and just idly crotch fondling at most.

The moon landing had 600m viewers but again, not much sexual activity going on there, maybe a few lads thinking 'wahey, I wonder if some alien bird will get her tits out!' (afterall back then we weren't so sure what was up there).

My bet is the current record is held by one of the Chinese Summer Olympic events, I reckon at any one time, there was probably at least 50 million blokes worldwide having a bit of a toss to a flexible sexible gymnast or something. Are we really going to stand by and let China hold the record?!

Here we have an opportunity, billions will be watching a pretty smart looking bird and around half of them will have at some point thought about ripping her dress off and ****ing her senseless so I ask, not for yourselves but for your COUNTRY, when the royal wedding is on, have a ****. We will make our future queen the most ****ed-to woman in the world if we get the cooperation of overseas opportunistic ****ers.

I know it may not be the most sexually explicit broadcast you will have seen but lie back and think of England. I reckon with the right planning, we can hit 100m simultanious focused ****ers worldwide and I dunno, cause a wormhole or something.

 

I think I just had premature ejaculation whilst reading this! Funny as ****! Have some rep...and I will join in tomorrow!

 

Rep was invented for moments like this!

 

Class!


Royal Wedding Drinking Game:

1. If the Queen is on the screen you must be drinking. The woman has ruled the country for over 50 years, the least you can do is get destroyed in her honour.

2. Any time Prince Harry appears all players must produce a Nazi salute. The last player to do so must consume 5 fingers/mouthfuls for their poor reactions.

3. If Elton John is spotted the last person to shout "Candle in the Wind" must drink 5.

4. Any time time paralells are drawn to the Diana and Charles wedding (or any previous Royal Wedding for that matter), by commentators or otherwise, all players must consume 3 fingers/mouthfuls of their drink.

5.We're British which means we're a simple folk who enjoy comforts such as bacon and beer. With this in mind then, what better way to greet our anthem than with a hearty chug. As a result when the National Anthem is playing, everyone must be stood up and drinking.

6.William will one day become king of this fine country, a fact that needs to be celebrated no? Every time the word "future" is said, in the mentioned context or not, an amount no less than 1 finger must be added to the "Future Kings Cup" by any player. This should then go in a clockwise direction from the first player to do so everytime future is mentioned, to ensure the cup has a good mix of drinks.

7. And following on from Rule 6, The last person to shout "God save the future King!" upon the proclamation of "I now pronounce you man and wife" has to down the Future King's Cup. I fear for those that are last here, I really do.

8. Prince Phillip has found a warm place in many of our hearts, his "Racist Grandad" appeal simply too hard too dislike. As a result, whenever he is shown independant of the Queen (to avoid complications with rule 1), the last player to shout "Bloody Foreigners" must drink 3 fingers. Penalties can be awarded for anyone who makes no attempt to imitate his accent.

9. Prime Ministers never tend to be popular, but our current one is hated even by those standards. So to allow you all to "stick it to da man" whenever our fearless leader David Cameron appears on screen, the first player to shout "****" (substitute for a less offensive word if necessary) is allowed to come up with a rule of their own. Enjoy your one chance at tyranny!

10.Whenever the union flag appears on screen, the first to shout "rule brittania" is bestowed with the honor of delegating four measures however they see fit, one for each nation of the UK. This can either be to single player, or spread amongst them. Make sure our great flag is honoured with the drinking it deserves!

 

Failed rep

 

Class yerself! Having a right rep splurge on this thread!

 

Haha need to find some willing mates and I'm set

 

Haha! Take my advice, don't tell them all the rules until they get there, some of them might chicken out

Another rule for your consideration;

11. Whenever the the commentators mention Windsor or the House of Windsor everybody has to do a bull**** cough and say "Saxe-Coburg Gotha". Anybody who misses it or is too drunk to say Saxe-Coburg Gotha properly has to drink 3 fingers. That last bit should finish everybody off nicely!

 

Hahaha, can't even say that sober!

 

Haha ... which is why it will be so lethal

Wasn't going to watch the wedding but think i'm gonna organise a party now!

 

Haha same, or tempt someone else to organise one... I ain't cleaning up and I think it'd get messy!