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Off Topic The Rep Brothel

Discussion in 'Newcastle United' started by Albert's Chip Shop, Jul 26, 2011.

  1. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #48761
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  2. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    Headline : Singer Marti Pellow diagnosed with arthritis
    He told reporters " I feel it in my fingers , I feel it in my toes "
     
    #48762
  3. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger were discussing who they were going to play in the new Hollywood Blockbuster: The Great Composers!
    "I wanna be Beethoven," said Stallone.
    "I gotta be Mozart," replied Willis
    "What about you, Arnie?" they asked............"I'll be Bach !"
     
    #48763
  4. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    My gay dyslexic mate hasn't come out of the closet yet.

    He's in Daniel........
     
    #48764
  5. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #48765
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  6. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    went to fish restaurant recently and ordered the Octopus.
    The waiter said: "It takes 4 hours to cook."
    I said: "Why?"
    He said: "Because it keeps turning the gas off."
     
    #48766
  7. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #48767
  8. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #48768
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  9. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    Bad day today, I failed my driving test on the Highway Code.
    The Instructor said to me, “If you are going down a country road what signs are you likely to see?"
    I said, “Eggs for sale, pick your own strawberries and free manure”.
     
    #48769
  10. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    To encourage me to eat when i was young my mother would put food on a spoon and say "here comes the train, here comes the train".

    It always worked because she wouldn't untie me from the track until i'd eaten it!
     
    #48770

  11. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    What are the Dalek's favourite trees ?

    YEW, WILLOW, BAY
     
    #48771
  12. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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  13. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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  14. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    “Doctor, I woke up this morning with this big lump on my left side.”

    Doctor:“Does your wife know you feel this way about her?”
     
    #48774
  15. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter
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    pouchies lass is great at cooking my sock
     
    #48775
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  16. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    I called the coastguard told them I had fallen out of my boat into the ocean.

    They said "Can you be more Pacific"
     
    #48776
  17. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    I called the coastguard told them I had fallen out of my boat into the ocean.

    They said "Can you be more Pacific"
     
    #48777
  18. Rum & Black for 2

    Rum & Black for 2 Champion’s League Prediction League Champion
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    #48778
    Albert's Chip Shop and Flash like this.
  19. mickeybnufc

    mickeybnufc Well-Known Member

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    Bad day today, I failed my driving test on the Highway Code.
    The Instructor said to me,if you are going up a very steep hill what gear would you be in,I said open neck shirt, slacks, and a light weight jacket
     
    #48779
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  20. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter
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    excuse me I’m back now. No trips planned for 3 weeks until Tenerife.

    Pray for ACS.
     
    #48780
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