I don't think anyone set out to create this situation deliberately so 'blame' is the wrong word Ubes. Two things are, I think, at it's core, and they are both cultural with political roots. It's relatively early so I haven't thought this through very clearly.
The first is the 'entitlement' culture, closely allied to 'identity politics' which simultaneously tribalises us and then allows each tribe to somehow believe it has rights broader than and different to those available to all of us. But no obligations it seems. It's not just the obvious tribes - the young, religious and ethnic groups, gender/ sexual orientation etc etc, but now almost anything - victims of some kind, residents of particular places etc etc. Watching the pro lifers for Charlie Gard and the relatives of the Birmingham Pub bombing victims on the news last night gave me two more tribes. Many seem very keen to take offence and equally keen to prevent debate, even calm, rational debate. Some of these tribes definitely have been unfairly disadvantaged and deserved better, but the utter lack of trust in the broader community means we have fragmented and there may not be a community any more, just sets of competing expectations for 'justice' whatever that is.
I think this has been driven mainly by left wing people, probably originally out of the best of intentions to address obvious inequalities, but now it's out of control. The right has been passively compliant for the most part. Both sides exploit it - cf May's 'citizens of nowhere' Speech which was aggressively tribal and divisive. The only quiet tribe seems to be ours - white, middle aged, middle class - and we are just filled with repressed ****ing anger. The 'chin up, grin and bear it, worse things happen at sea, mustn't grumble' attitude to misfortune (or even slight inconvenience) is dying.
The second is the cult of the individual, the idea that everyone can be fulfilled and that somehow this is separate from collective fulfilment and success. For more detail I refer you to Adam Curtis' film essay The Trap, especially the first part **** You Buddy. The impact of this is very similar to tribalism, but it stems from right wing economics and Cold War game theory. Both of which were enthusiastically taken up, probably unconsciously of the full implications, by both Thatcher and Blair, and the results - which include the measurement/performance culture, the 'everyone should always be happy' approach to mental health (which we discussed on the Caulker thread), and a pervasive suspicion of the motives of others - are now incredibly deeply embedded. Our expectations for ourselves are unrealistic yet continually encouraged to grow. When they are not met we get angry and resentful.
A third thing, probably related to the first two, is a near universal lack of trust in authority and the establishment - from politicians to judges. Some of this is justified because some of the establishment is untrustworthy. And they continually oversimplify very complex choices, leading to black/white, us/them posturing.
Probably easy to knock holes in this, but best I can do at this time in the morning.