You can’t lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, then what you’ve lost is a pigeon.
Little Red Indian boy says to his father Father how do we get our given names Father replies Well son, the man stays in the tepee with his wife until the baby is born, as soon as he sees the baby he leaves the tepee and names the child after the first thing of nature that he sees. That is why your sister is named Rising moon and your brother is named running dear, why do you ask two dogs ****ing?
A balding, white haired man walked into a jewelry store this past Friday evening with a beautiful much younger gal at his side. He told the jeweller he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweller looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring. The man said, 'No, I'd like to see something more special.' At that statement, the jeweller went to his special stock and brought another ring over. 'Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000the jeweller said. The lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, 'We'll take it.' The jeweller asked how payment would be made and the man stated, 'By cheque. I know you need to make sure my cheque is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds; I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon.' On Monday morning, the jeweller angrily phoned the old man and said 'Sir...There's no money in that account. ''I know,' said the old man...'But let me tell you about my weekend.’
A man was in a long line at his local Tesco store. As he got to the check out he realised he had forgotten to get condoms, so he asked the checkout girl if she could have some brought up to the register. She asked, "What size condoms?" The customer replied that he didn't know. She asked him to drop his pants. He did. She reached over the counter, grabbed hold of him and called over the intercom, "One box of large condoms, Checkout 5." The next man in line thought this was interesting, and like most of us, was up for a cheap thrill. When he got up to the check out, he told the girl that he too had forgotten to get condoms, and asked if she could have some brought to the check out for him. She asked him what size, and he stated that he didn't know. She asked him to drop his pants. He did. She gave him a quick feel, picked up the intercom and said, "One box of medium-sized condoms, Checkout 5." A few customers back was this teenage boy. He thought what he had seen was way too cool. He had never had any type of sexual contact with a live female, so he thought this was his chance. When he got to the check out he told the girl he needed some condoms. She asked him what size and he said he didn't know. She asked him to drop his pants and he did. She reached over the counter, gave him a quick squeeze then picked up the intercom and said... "Mop and bucket to Checkout 5
