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Off Topic The 'Like' Brothel

Discussion in 'Newcastle United' started by Albert's Chip Shop, Dec 27, 2014.

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  1. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    Bad day today, I failed my driving test on the Highway Code.
    The Instructor said to me, “If you are going down a country road what signs are you likely to see?"
    I said, “Eggs for sale, pick your own strawberries and free manure”.
     
    #3461
    kiwiqpr, Jan 18, 2024
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  2. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    To encourage me to eat when i was young my mother would put food on a spoon and say "here comes the train, here comes the train".

    It always worked because she wouldn't untie me from the track until i'd eaten it!
     
    #3462
    kiwiqpr, Jan 19, 2024
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  3. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    Grandad: 'I bought a BMW off one of the Kray's once.

    Me: 'What reg?'

    Grandad: 'No, Ronnie I think'.
     
    #3463
    kiwiqpr, Jan 19, 2024
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  4. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    What are the Dalek's favourite trees ?

    YEW, WILLOW, BAY
     
    #3464
    kiwiqpr, Jan 19, 2024
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  5. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    morning all
     
    #3465
    kiwiqpr, Jan 22, 2024
    GeordieHalfbreed, Albert's Chip Shop and Darren Peacock’s Ponytail like this.
  6. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #3466
    kiwiqpr, Jan 22, 2024
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  7. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #3467
    kiwiqpr, Jan 22, 2024
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  8. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    “Doctor, I woke up this morning with this big lump on my left side.”

    Doctor:“Does your wife know you feel this way about her?”
     
    #3468
    kiwiqpr, Jan 22, 2024
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  9. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    I called the coastguard told them I had fallen out of my boat into the ocean.

    They said "Can you be more Pacific"
     
    #3469
    kiwiqpr, Jan 22, 2024
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  10. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #3470
    kiwiqpr, Jan 22, 2024
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  11. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    I saw someone waving at me the other day but I wasn’t sure if they were waving at me or someone else so I ignored them.

    In other news I lost my job as a lifeguard.
     
    #3471
    kiwiqpr, Jan 22, 2024
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  12. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    Can't believe the amount of people that don't understand erectile dysfunction!


    I mean, it's not that hard......
     
    #3472
    kiwiqpr, Jan 22, 2024
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  13. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    The Catholic Church are going to open a chain of Car Dealerships in Africa and the South Pacific.

    They'll only be selling Convertibles.
     
    #3473
    kiwiqpr, Jan 22, 2024
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  14. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    Being one of the few Asians in Glasgow, I'm often asked "what's a Hindu?".

    Why does everyone look puzzled when I reply "lay eggs"?
     
    #3474
    kiwiqpr, Jan 22, 2024
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  15. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    I went to a ventriloquist’s funeral today, and they sang the hymn

    “All Things Gright And Geautikal !”
     
    #3475
    kiwiqpr, Jan 22, 2024
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  16. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #3476
    kiwiqpr, Jan 22, 2024
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  17. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #3477
    kiwiqpr, Jan 22, 2024
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  18. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    King Charles has just arrived in Iran. ...."Where's the Shah?", he asked.
    "Oh, we got rid of the Shah years ago", said his guide.

    "Ohh, in that case, one will have a barth..
     
    #3478
    kiwiqpr, Jan 23, 2024
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  19. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #3479
    kiwiqpr, Jan 23, 2024
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  20. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    Uncle Ben has been rushed into hospital after discovering a lump in one of his testicles.

    Turns out It was a a boil in the bag
     
    #3480
    kiwiqpr, Jan 23, 2024
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Page 174 of 200
: like better than rep, tag me up ladies, filthy like whores, I like a good like, like a rolling stone, kiwi was here, spank this like whore!, no f'ker likes kiwi's, kiwis watching you lot, LIKE KIWI

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