Off Topic The 'Like' Brothel

So many people these days are very judgemental. I can tell just by looking at them.

 

Ho

 

There

 

Kiwi

 

Hope

 

You

 

Are

 

Well

 

Mate.

 

Your

 

Pm

 

Is

 

Hot

 

Btw

 

Plane crashes and a bloke ends up washing up on a desert island with a pig and a dog. After a few days hes gets horny and decides to try and mount the pig. As he goes to take down his trousers the dog starts to get aggressive towards him so he thinks **** it and pulls his pants back up. A few more days pass and he gets even more horny and tries to give the pig another go but the dog gets aggressive again. A fews weeks pass and the bloke looks into the ocean and sees a woman screaming for help, he swims out and brings ger to safety. She says to him ‘how can i repay you, ill do anything, anything at all you name it ill do it’ he replies.. ‘you couldnt take that ****ing dog for a walk for 10 minutes could ya’

 

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I went to a new restaurant the other day called Karma. They had no menus, I just got what I deserved.

 

A young doctor moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring.
The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds, so the community could become used to a new doctor.
At the first house a woman complains, “I’ve been a little sick to my stomach.”
The older doctor says, “Well, you’ve probably been overdoing the fresh fruit. Cut back on the amount you’ve been eating and see if that does the trick?”
As they left, the younger man said, “You didn’t even examine that woman? How’d you come to the diagnosis so quickly?”
“I didn’t have to. You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on the floor in there? When I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a half dozen banana peels in the bin. That was what probably was making her sick.”
The younger doctor said, “Pretty clever. If you don’t mind, I think I’ll try that at the next house.”
Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking with a younger woman. She said that she just didn’t have the energy she once did and said, “I’m feeling terribly run down lately.”
“You’ve probably been doing too much for the church,” the younger doctor told her. “Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps.”
As they left, the elder doctor said, “I know that woman well. Your diagnosis is most certainly correct, she’s very active in the church, but how did you arrive at it?”
“I did what you did at the last house. I dropped my stethoscope and, when I bent down to retrieve it, I noticed the priest under the bed

 

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