Off Topic The 'Like' Brothel

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I was a bit bored with the usual events at the Olympics so thought it would be a good idea to branch out and see some of the lesser known ones and plumped for Fencing. Amazed at their skill, athleticism and dexterity I decided to dig a bit deeper into what makes an Olympic level Fencer. Because security wasn't as heavy as the more popular events I was able to mingle with the athletes and got to speak to all the medalists. First up was a Dutch Fencer who'd won the Bronze medal, I asked what it was that made him so good he replied

"It is all about balance, I am an expert. See that fly there?" he said pointing to a bluebottle floating around "watch this" swish swish swish went his rapier and the fly landed in half at his feet. Impressed I then bumped into the Silver medalist from Russia and asked him what made him so good he replied

"It is all about dedication, that is why I am an expert. See that fly there?" and he pointed to another bluebottle buzzing about the room "watch this" swish swish swish went his rapier and the fly landed in three bits on the floor. Impressed I then saw the Gold medalist from France and I asked him the same question about what made him so good, he replied

"It is all about concentration, that is why I won the Gold medal and why I am the greatest" and he pointed to another fly shooting around all over the room "watch this" swish swish swish went his rapier and the fly carried on buzzing around the room.

"That's no good!" I said "those other two Fencers did that and killed the fly, you let yours get away"

"Ah yes" said the French Fencer "but that fly will never have children"

 

Breaking news: Irish swimming pools will reopen on the 4th of July, due to social distancing there will be no water in lanes 1,3 and 5

 

Why did the Irish man wear two condoms?

To be sure, to be sure......

 

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I've joined an Ukrainian dating site.

Now I've got a Chick in Kiev!

 

I met a transvestite in Manchester.

He had a Wigan address

 

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Going to the local transvestite night later.

There's no rules we just eat,drink and be Mary.

 

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Boy complains to his father: You told me to put a potato in my swimming trunks! You said it would impress the girls at the pool! But you forgot to mention one thing!
Father: Really, what?
Boy: That the potato should go in the front.

 

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