Says he tried to admit himself to a mental hospital, so something has happened which they wouldn't wanna release to the press imo
Fishy food mate. A lad from South Shields went in the sea about 4 months ago, he was there for about 6 weeks when some fishermen found him. He had no hands or feet, birds had been at his hair apparently and the fish and crabs had ate just about all of his face away.
I'm not reading the ****ing lot mate! I started at page 204 and read up, very very funny. I didn't even know what it was about to be honest, I've seen it from time to time but for reason unknown, I had never popped my head in.
A petrol station owner from newcastle was having a hard time. So in order to drum up more customers he advertised. Free sex with each fill up. The next day in drove a chav from byker and filled up. He asked for his free sex. Pick a number between 1 and 10 says the owner. Get it reet and you get your free sex. Numba 7 says the chav. 'Ow man ya waz so close. It was numba 8. Better luck next time. Of he gors in a strop. The next week he decides to try his luck again. But takes his mate stabber along as backup. He fills up once again and then asks for his sex. Pick a numba1 to 10. Get it reet and ya get ya free sex says the owner. Numba 3 says the chav. ' ow man ya waz so close its numba 2 says the owner.Betta luck next time. The chav once again has a strop and turns to stabber. 'Ow stabber i think its al a con and thetrs nee free sex. Im ganna ab that ****. Stabber looks at his mate and says 'nah man its not a con wor lass came ere twice last week and won.
I saw some porn made during the second World War. The stars were a British soldier and a German woman. The soldier slowly unbuttons the woman's blouse, kissing her neck as he does so. He then unclips her bra to reveal her round, pert breasts. He licks and then sucks gently on her erect nipples. Next, he removes her skirt. She is wearing black stockings and suspenders, with lacy knickers. He nudges her underwear to one side so that he can spread her moist lips, teasing her with his fingers. He then pulls her knickers off completely, and pushes her onto the bed. The Brit looks over the German, in complete control. He kneels down and begins to lap at her pussy, slowly at first, then building up speed. He flicks her clit relentlessly. She starts to moan, clasping the headboard tightly in readiness for the climax. The end is near, and they both know it. She wriggles on the bed, helpless at what is about to happen. At that point, an American soldier kicks down the door, pushes the Brit to one side, and spunks in the German's face.
Wow... That was an enjoyable 'just woke up' read !! Oh well.. Cuppa tea, bit of brekkie and then off to pick up some Spurs fans for the game. Hope fully when I knock at their door.. No-one opens it and 'spunks' in my face
