The joke thread !

I was walking passed a pub in my town where on the board outside read " Pies £2, ****s 50p"

So in I went.

I got to the bar where I was greeted by the blonde barmaid. I said to her " Are you the one who gives the ****s?"

She leaned over to reveal a lovely cleavage with her nipples poking through her blouse. She licked her lips and whispered "Yes"

I said. "well, wash your hands love, I fancy a pie!!"

 

Here is some jokes for you

They genuinely thought they would get 8 past Peterborough

They thought they would get 3 or 4 past us aswell

 

Honestly have a terrible mind for remembering jokes, probably because I'm not particularly funny but this is my current favourite:

'What time does Sean Connery get to Wimbledon?'

'Tennish.'

Sorry to hear about your job btw BuzzardFox

 

What's the best thing about living in Switzerland?

Well, the flag is a big plus...

 

Two Nuns in the bath

The first says "Where's the soap"

Second replies "yes it does"

Sould keep Charlie in a confused limbo for days ...

 

Just like you Leicester fans thought you would walk the league last season, then.

 

Some Leicester fans Charlie, some .

 

Amen to that .. won't find any post from me claiming that Charlie boy ...