It's going to happen mate...You've just got to hang in there for the bairns sake, and although the loss will always be there, the pain will lessen in the course of time..
Charlie's right Billy. Dont dismiss it, I got some devastating news last year, not as bad as yours but something I had trouble dealing with. I couldnt talk to friends at the time so I went on net and found a website, I spoke to a lovely lady who had gone through what I was and still going through, but it helped talking. I keep in touch with the group because like you I still have problems dealing with my situation.
I been reading back through this, God knows what folk would think of me if they didn't know the story. Iknow that grief can cause severe mental pain but never realised that it can cause so much physical pain too. Sometimes I just feel so bloody empty inside. You will have heard the phrase he or she died with a broken heart. All that means is they lost the will to live. Anyone who has no one to lean on, I can understand as it would have probably happened to me.