I "borrowed" this from TigerPaul1991 but it made me smile:
A man's walking down the street when he's attacked by a huge dog. From out of nowhere a bloke in a football shirt rushes upto the man, pulls the dog off the man and kills it by smacking it across the head with a piece of wood. The man is in huge shock but when he come round a bit he says 'that was a very brave thing you did for me there, it just so happens i'm a reporter for a local newspaper and i will make sure this story is on the front page. It'll say, heroic Man United fan saves reporter from deadly animal'.
'I'm not a Man United fan' says the man.
'Ok, Brave Liverpool fan saves reporter from near death experience' says the reporter.
'I'm not a Liverpool fan' says the man.
'Ok, quick thinking Newcastle fan saves reporter from vicious attack' says the reporter.
'I'm not a Newcastle fan' says the man.
'Well, who do you support?' askes the reporter.
'Leeds United' replies the man.
The next day the headline in the local paper reads 'Leeds hooligan kills beloved family pet'