The handcart to hell is still on target

We need to draw a veil over this.

 

Pud is very much pro-life

 

^^^^
Disliked.

 

Dentists must struggle

 

Allahu Molar

 

Aloha dentist

 

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https://metro.co.uk/2019/05/21/woman-says-got-rid-period-pain-smearing-menstrual-blood-face-9619909/

Suffering from hellish cramps? Just smear some period blood on your face, suggests Yazmina Jade Adler, a 26-year-old woman from Melbourne. On a SBS show called Medicine or Myth?, Yazmina shares that she engages in a sacred ritual every month to save her body from the pain of periods. The ritual, which Yazmina discovered when she met a shamanic womb woman, involves meditating in a sacred space and applying her period blood to her face and body.

Shamanic Womb Woman. Was she in Justice League?

 

This all started when Yazmina went to see shamanic womb woman who asked if she wanted her palm read?
Turns out she was actually asking if she wanted her palm red!

Anyway, wid.

Probably not when she's on her period though.

Ah who am I kidding. Cover me, sexy blood!

 

In other news, woman complains she's had to wait 9 months to have baby on the NHS.

 

Brilliant treble mate

 

Alexa make me a cup of tea you slag

https://www.bbc.com/news/technology-48349102

 

Mrs Grove had Alexa playing Heart FM the other day, Amy Winohouse came on and I said "Alexa, turn that sh.it off!" which she promptly did.

I've barely scratched the surface of what it can do but we asked Alexa to talk like Chewbacca which cracked a grin in the Grove household. Not sure if Alexa will talk with the voice of a Southern Mammy like her from the Tom & Jerry cartoons but that would be class.

I've not had the balls to say "Alexa talk dirty to me" as I knock one out. Probably because it is in the kitchen tbh.

 

You are paying for the privilege of bugging your own house .

They will go the way of yoyos and fidget spinners when you realise what AN UTTER **** YOU ARE ****ING KILL YOURSELF

 

I like Alexa. And yoyos, fidget spinners not so much.

 

Alexa, kill yourself as soon as possible

I'm sorry Dave, I can't do that.

 

Grove Junior uses Alexa for homework. Good job too because it saves me having to Google stuff, especially maths obviously.

 

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A music charity is calling for schools to exchange Mozart for Stormzy suggesting hip hop and grime need to be added to the curriculum. National charity Youth Music is urging the Department for Education to change the way music is taught at school to reflect the ‘diverse’ musical interests of young people today.

Because hip-hop and Grime are so important. Bonkers.

https://metro.co.uk/2019/05/22/schools-teach-children-stormzy-instead-mozart-9648568/

 

Name a better duo

I’ll wait

 

Mindy and Dev.