Ok . So I know I’m going to hell , but the highlighted bit ( at the bottom ) made me laugh . A 90-year-old man accused of trying to murder his unwell wife told a court he stabbed her to "quieten her down" after she woke him up one night. Edward Turpin allegedly lost patience with caring for Joan Turpin, also 90, at their home in Orpington, south-east London. The Old Bailey heard Mrs Turpin, who is blind and needs a catheter, had become increasingly dependent on her husband. Mr Turpin said his wife had elbowed him in the back and started screaming. Giving evidence on Thursday, Mr Turpin, who denies attempted murder and an alternative charge of wounding with intent, said nothing unusual had happened during the evening before. But in the early hours of the morning, his wife started saying she could not sleep in an uncharacteristically "aggressive" tone, he claimed, before "screaming uncontrollably". 'Sir, I'm a butcher' He initially told jurors he could not remember what had happened, but under cross-examination he accepted he had gone downstairs to get a knife and "made my mind up" about what he was about to do. Despite the walk to the kitchen giving him time to reflect, he believed the best way to "calm (his) wife down" was stab her, the court heard. He insisted his intention had not been to kill her or himself, despite the attack leaving Mrs Turpin with a collapsed lung having suffered at least four stab wounds. Prosecution barrister Alistair Richardson asked: "You must remember whether or not you have gone downstairs?" "I can't remember," Mr Turpin said. "Well, the knives are downstairs," the barrister said. "Yeah, I must have," the defendant replied. "You must have selected a knife?" Mr Richardson asked. "Sir, I'm a butcher," Mr Turpin replied, adding it was a "carver" that is typically used for cutting "roast beef and stuff like that". He added that it had been the smallest knife he had in the house. "You, I think, are telling us that even with that time for reflection - going downstairs - you thought stabbing her was the right way to stop her screaming?" Mr Richardson said. "Yes, sir," the defendant answered. "All I was trying to do was calm my wife down." When it was suggested to him that stabbing her would not be a good way to quieten her down, Mr Turpin replied: "So you're saying I should have strangled her?"
As I knelt down with a pair of size 4 shoes in front of this blonde in a short skirt, I couldn't resist a quick glance at her knickers: "Hey cheeky!" She said as she gave me a playful kick. "I bet the only reason you work here is to look up girls' skirts isn't it?" "That's an absolutely ridiculous accusation, madam." I said sternly. "I don't even work here."
Just discovered that low salt and sugar baked beans are quite good...you just have to add salt and sugar
