The details of the Queen’s Jubilee celebrations have been announced. Starts today with a competition to develop a celebratory pudding (yum). The last jubilee was marred by bad weather over the holiday weekend...let’s hope for great weather and the feeling that we are back to some kind of normalcy again after the last couple of years...and that the Queen is strong enough to participate. Let’s party like it’s 2022! Read the bit about 85% of the population have only known the Queen as our head of state...then realised that I was in the other 15% as the late King was on the throne when I was born...God, I feel old
The daughter just walked into the living room and said…. "Dad, cancel my allowance immediately, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out of the window, take my TV, my stereo, iPhone, iPod and my laptop from me. Please take all of my jewellery to Cash Converters. Then sell my new car, take my front door key away from me & throw me out of the house. Then disown me & never talk to me again. And don't forget to write me out of your will & leave my share to my brother.” Well, she didn't put it quite like that... she actually said... “Dad, this is my new boyfriend, he supports Portsmouth”
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the cashier. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. "Good morning Miss Whack, I'd like to take out a £25,000 loan for a holiday." Pattie looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager. Pattie explains that he will need to offer the bank some security against the loan. The frog says, "Well, I have this" and produces a tiny bright pink porcelain elephant, about an inch tall. Very confused, Pattie explains that she'll have to run it past the bank manager and promptly disappeared through a door into an office. She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow £25,000, and he wants to use this as security." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, is he joking?" The bank manager looks back at her and says. "It's a knick-knack, Pattie Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
I was in a taxi the other day and the driver said 'do you mind if I put some music on?' I said 'Not at all' He said 'Kiss?' I said 'Let's listen to the music first and see how we feel'
The guy who developed the tennis format involving a man and a woman on each team has passed away. RIP Mick Stubbles.
Why am I suddenly getting emails every time someone posts on a bloody thread? I've turned email notifications off.
