If you worked in Torrevieja you will know that it is not a package holiday destination, so comparing it to Benidorm is like comparing any random coastal town in the UK to Blackpool. It is actually a very nice Spanish town that has grown exponentially, as a result of the heavy investment of expatriates from across Europe. The road infrastructure, especially the main roads, are superior to the roads we have in the UK and there has been a lot of investment on improving the seafront, further up from the main beaches. But if Benidorm and it’s high rise hotels, drunken holidaymakers and rowdy nightlife is your benchmark, then I guess it is a dive.
A man and his young son are walking in the country when they pass a field of cows, the kid says 'look daddy, moo cows!' Dad says, 'You are a bit old to be calling them that, they are just a herd of cows'. Soon they come to a railway and a train passes by, little boy says, 'look daddy, choo choo train!' The dad sighs and tells the boy to speak with more maturity. Later that evening dad finds his son reading a book - 'hey son, what are you reading?' says dad. The boy looks at the cover and says 'Winnie the ****'
An artist on the Island has admitted that he did it after being inspired by the monoliths created elsewhere by an art group.
Santa goes down the chimney of a house and laying on the sofa is a young woman. The woman says to Santa would you like to spend some time with me? Santa replied I can't I've got presents to deliver all over the world. She takes off her sexy nightie Are you sure she said? I can't Santa replied. She takes off her bra Are you sure she said? I can't Santa replied. She takes off her knickers Are you really sure she said. Santa replied I've got no f**king choice now I can't get back up that chimney
Three guys kick the bucket on Christmas Eve and ascend to heaven where they are met by St. Peter. "In honour of the season," St. Peter says to them, "you must each possess something that symbolises Christmas." The first man fumbles through his pockets and pulls out two lighters. He holds them up proudly and flicks them on. "What do they symbolise?" St. Peter asks him. "They're candles." "Ah! You may pass through the pearly gates." The second man fumbles through his pockets and pulls out a set of keys. He holds them up proudly and shakes them. "What do they symbolise?" St. Peter asks. "They're bells." "Ah! You may pass through the pearly gates." So the third man fumbles desperately through his pockets, finally pulling out a skimpy pair of silky woman's panties. He holds them up proudly. "And what do they symbolise?" St. Peter asks. "They're Carol's!"
I was standing at the bar in Terminal 3 at the International Airport when this small Chinese guy comes in, stands next to me, and starts drinking a beer. I asked him, "Do you know any of those martial arts things, like Kung-Fu, Karate, or Ju-Jitsu?" He says, "No I don't. And why the hell would you ask me that? Is it because I am Chinese?" "No", I said, "It's because you're drinking my beer.”
Good news for Southampton airport. BA to fly to a few European countries. Sadly, for me, they will fly to Malaga but not Alicante. My fingers are crossed that the airport gets the go ahead to extend the runway, in the hope it will allow for EasyJet or Ryanair to take on some flights. I think it says the bookings can be made from Monday. https://www.businesstraveller.com/b...ys-launches-flights-from-southampton-airport/
...and you know why he would know? He has a knee made of timber. So Edward Woodward would know wooden knee?
