Off Topic The Goodhand Arms

It's a 5 minute walk from my house to the bar, but a 45 minute walk from the bar to my house.

The difference is staggering.

 

RIP Diana. The only woman to win James Bonds heart.

 

Met her once at JFK airport. A classy lady who was friendliness personified. RIP to a true legend

 

Pure class from her first role to her last.

RIP Diana

 

Porthmeor beach this afternoon. We had a brilliant hour bodyboarding a bit earlier, just fabulous fun. Home tomorrow

 

A skinhead applied for a job in a shop. The owner said have you any experience in working in a shop? The Skinhead said no. The owner replied we sell lots of different items in this shop. I will serve the next customer to show you how it's done then you can have a go. A guy comes in. A packet of grass seed please. The owner said here's your grass seed and here's you lawnmower. The customer said pardon? The owner replied when your grass gets so high you will need something to cut it with. Good idea said the customer and paid for his items. The owner said to the skinhead you serve the next customer. A man comes in and said its my wife's time of the month can I have a box of Tampax? The Skinhead said no problem Sir Here's the Tampax and here's your lawnmower. The customer said pardon? The skinhead replied That’s your weekend f*cked you might as well mow the lawn.

 

If anyone on here bought a Euromillions lottery ticket in South Ayrshire, in March, you have until tomorrow midnight to claim almost £58 million.

 

Well, I thought this was funny. Sound on.

 

Some snaps from our trip to the Hollandse Biesbosch national park.

 

And nearby Dordrecht.

 

The only thing Flat Earthers fear

Is sphere itself

 

If it weren't for Arabs, we would never have 9/11.

We’d have IX/XI instead.

 

Two years ago we'd never heard of gender reveal parties.

Now they're spreading like wildfire.

 

I haven’t spoken to my mother in law for 18 Months !

I don’t like to interrupt.