The FML Thread!

THIS is why you cannot beat a good ol house party!

 

How's this for a FML.
I was in 1st year and had a little bit of let's say cola on me and got caught by a bouncer in one of my favourite clubs (thanks to a mackem friend trying to follow me into a cubicle), got chucked out and barred for a month.
Went back to my flat, feeling rather sorry for myself, start making this acid techno tracks whilst drinking a bottle of frosty jacks (still pretty proud of this track!) my mates then invite me to go to this afterparty - start chatting up this fit redhead there and she's up for coming back to mine, whip out a bit of k and she asks for some. She didn't tell me she'd never done it before and rushes to the toilet to whitey, her friends then have to take her home in a taxi.
A couple of days later one of my flatmates sees her on a night out (at the club I couldn't go to for a month), one thing leads to another and they end up going back to hers and shagging.

Probably wasn't the greatest of weeks for me, although that track did come out of it. I named it quite aptly "Nightfall Let Down"

 

Made a joke about Leon Best scoring a hattrick against west ham, my suspicious mate Lenny put a bet on it and I didn't.

Sitting in Lloyds the next day with him waving his winnings around was an FML moment!

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Cancelling my phone insurance because i;m selling my phone. Having vigorous sex with me lass, the phone I was going to sell fell off the drawers and right into a pint of "recuperation" water was pretty FML.

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Receiving a message off an unknown number claiming to be some lass I met in Baja the night before. Me thinking it was a mate taking the piss with a new number, told him/her to fook right off and that I wasn't falling for that sh*t.

Turned out she was lush and my mate ended up banging her... bad times!

That's just 3 off the top of me heed!

 

Those are some pretty tough breaks bruh!

 

You chose to carry on doing maths?

You sir, have giant balls.

 

accidently locked myself on the balcony in my hotel room 12th floor
in Barcelona.
Panicked like mad thinking the only way was to break into the room and so I kicked through the appartment window/door.
Only problem was this was done barefooted.
I ended up being rushed to a ****ty spanish hospital and needed a jab in the ass before getting my foot stitched.
Ended the last week of my holiday on crutches and wheelchair!
about 5months later I was feeling pain in the same foot with swelling and gunge coming out of the scar,
went to Newcastle General and had to be operated on again after Xrays showed I had a 4inch bit of glass still lingering in the bottom of my foot.

Not so much FML though, pretty lucky I didn't suffer worse damages