The FML Thread!

Maths at A level is the definition of a bitch (or so I've heard, I didnt study it )

 

Getting my physics results back this thursday.. were you as confident as me that physics 'isn't as bad as they say'?
Let's just say I'll be dropping that bad boy next year

 

I forgot to ask what iPhone have you got?

 

I did and yes it was a ****ing ballache!
But hard work and it pays off!

 

Yee cause like we had a taster lesson before we chose and i understood everything then like it suddenly went downhill

 

I did Chemistry A Level and it was a bitch

 

My passport is on it's arse but I've used it for my travelling and don't wanna lose all my stamps...

Another happy ending FML came for me in Laos...

I was tubing in Vang Vien (if you don't know what this is, youtube it - UNREAL!!!) anyway, gave my waterproof camera to a mate, he wrapped the chord round his wrist and went down a 30ft zipline into the 20ft deep river...He went in one direction, my camera went the other! It was the only camera we had between a group of 4 and had 3 weeks worth of photos on...In my drunken stupor, I shouted to all the locals "A million Kip to anyone who *hick* gets my camera" ... within seconds, and I mean seconds, about 30 locals turned up with oldskool diving masks and flippers...They tried all day but to no avail. I was told to come back tomorrow and they'd have it for me...

The next day I went down and with a heavy heart, walked up to a random barman, suddenly a tiny, highpitched voice from behind the bar shouted out 'you, you, camera man, we have camera, come, come!' - I didn't want to get my hopes up, EVEN if it was my camera, it probably wouldn't be working...I was led from hut to hut looking for a little local fella, eventually we found him and in his hand sat my fully functioning camera...

That day, not only did I get back all our photos and ability to take more, I was able to point over to the insanely happy looking local lad "see him...I made him a millionaire!" (it's about £90)

 

we finished gcse doing space and it was piss easy
so the first thing we do when i come back is equations of motion and projectiles and that..that's a FML moment

 

Business & Computing for me, joined with some mocks tomorrow & wednesday, absolutely ****ting it.

 

For full effect:

iPhone Paella

Ingredients
• 1 shagged iPhone
• 6 boneless chicken breasts or thighs, preferably free-range or organic, skin on, each quartered
• sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
• plain flour, for dusting
• olive oil
• 100g chorizo, sliced
• 6 slices pancetta or streaky bacon
• 1 onion, finely chopped
• 4 cloves of garlic, finely chopped
• 2 litres hot chicken stock, preferably organic
• 2 large pinches of saffron
• 1 heaped teaspoon smoked paprika
• 500g paella rice
• small bunch flat leaf parsley, leaves picked and chopped, stalks chopped
• 2 handfuls peas, fresh or frozen
• 10 king prawns
optional: 500g mussels, scrubbed
• optional: 2 small squid, halved and scored

Method
Preheat the oven to 190ºC/375ºF/gas 5. Season the chicken pieces and dust with flour. Heat a little olive oil in a large deep pan and fry the chicken until golden brown on both sides. Place the pieces on a baking tray and into the oven for 30 minutes.

Put the pan back on the heat. Add the sliced chorizo and pancetta or bacon and fry until browned and crispy. Then add the onion and garlic and cook until soft. Meanwhile infuse half the hot chicken stock with the saffron. Add the smoked paprika, iPhone, rice and infused stock and leave to cook on a medium heat, stirring from time to time.

After 20 minutes the rice should be nearly cooked. At this point, pour in the rest of the stock along with the peas, prawns, and the mussels and squid if you are using them. Place a lid on the pan and cook for 10 minutes more.

Finally, add the cooked chicken and serve sprinkled with chopped parsley and a wedge of lemon.


iPhone Paella. Done!!

 

3Gs ... It was my Dad's old one, he's now got a 4.

 

have some rep for making someone a millionaire through your own generosity

 

I'd be distraught if my iPhone was in your condition so i feel for you, just steal his 4

 

Maths was a bit of a ****. Just wait til you's get to second year.

Think one of my FML's would be getting to know this fairly stunning welsh lass while on holiday in magaluf one night last year with the best boobs i've ever had the pleasure of touching to date.

However, BCM being the brilliant place it is, is a free bar once you've paid in so needless to say I made the most of that for about 3 people and was probably a little worse for wear.

Anyway after talking and necking on with this lass for a while, getting ready to get back to one of the hotels I'd forgotten her name. Needless to say she was far from impressed and ****ed off.

Possibly the most depressing moment of my life.

 

My iPhone contract runs out next week! Question is, should I just get the 4 or should I get a BlackBerry? Most of my friends are on a BlackBerry hype, so obviously BBM would come in handy, but are they as good as an iPhone? Help please.

 

when i was 19 I lived in Newcastle one saturday night me and a mate went for a drink in the broken doll were a group of skinheads kept staring over,my mate suggested we go to another pub as it looked like if we stayed we were in trouble so of we trooped round the corner and ended up in a pub at the old Marlborough Crescent bus station(think it was the durham ox round the corner but i can't remember).After a good session the night was coming to a end and me and my mate were playing pool when a drunk bloke came over and smacked my mate right in the face to which i hit him with the pool cue which turned out to be the wrong move as the blokes mates jumped up and laid into myself and my mate closely followed by the doormen who dragged us down the stairs and beat the crap out of us again before throwing us out onto the street,being drunk and a little ****ed of by this stage we promptly started having a go at the doormen and kicking at the door of the pub when a van with our finest came round the corner and we were arrested and banged up in the cells at pilgrim st to as they put it 'cool off' for the night. On being released at 6amish looking like the elephant man in blood stained clothes and wearing one shoe (apparently i threw the other one at the doorman) and as there was no buses running so early,through the town and eventually up westgate hill we trudged.Weary and bruised the site of my flat loomed and joy at the thought of my bed filled me to be quickly replaced with a sick feeling as the door was wide open and i'd been burgled and what made it worse was they didn't even have to break sweat to get in i'd not shut the door properly just not my day i guess

 

I've got the 4 mate is immense my mate had a top of the range blackberry and swapped it for the iPhone 4 so yee thats my opinion

 

lol I'm terrible with names when I'm out!

Sir Bobby:

I guess it depends what you use your iphone for? All my mates have blackberrys, but to be fair, they do nout other than text and let you on facebook...I have the attention span of a toddler (games) and hate walking anywhere without my headphones (itunes)!

 

Class

 

Ladies and gentlemen, I think we have a winner!