Off Topic The Fake News Thread

Doubles all round at The Valley to celebrate Charlton's successful transfer window dealings, personally supervised by Roland, who is staying on for the game on Saturday. He was critical of the "stupid" rule which allows only 5 loanees at a time in the team, and received a standing ovation from everyone present (the CEO, manager and Sue Parkes).

 

Sue Parkes refuses last complimentary sausage roll while discussing her husbands early retirement plans

 

Ain't heard much from Sue in recent times.

 

She relinquished her position as admin on the facebook page and created another page which is invite only. Saw her at the gills game and she was very subdued.

 

The Police have diverted massive funds from ongoing murder and terrorism investigations in order to focus on an alleged phone call from an unknown caller to a famous forum troll, known to most as "Incorruptible **dick". Forensic are comparing a voice match from the caller to a recording made by a certain K Fraeye of a man cunningly disguised as a slug. Voice experts are working on the tapes and arrests are expected shortly.

 

Jeremy Corbyn is poised to sweep into power. "I told you he'd come good" said Milord Mandy with a broad grin. Corbyns promise to give everyone £50 a week, hacked from the bank accounts of the super-rich proved a winner in the end. The Conservative party is expected to replace Mrs May with Jacob Rees-Mogg as leader, to counteract the popular appeal of Momentum and the Corbynistas.

 

Juan Marco ‏@JuanMarco_SDAL 1m1 minute ago

Manuel Lao Hernández, Cirsa casino owner and Spains 9th richest man in advanced talks with Charlton Athletic over a potential takeover #CAFC

 

Sorry, wrong thread

 

Most of what is being published in the press about the elections would fit in here.

 

The BBC has not got a single item about the election on it's front page!

I also think that @Royston should change his avatar.... it is really not appropriate anymore

 

Think nicks in hiding.

 

You can run but you can't hide.

 

Perhaps Royston helped prepare the Tory Manifesto? ....... and Mrs May has a terrible temper

 

Is manifesto another word for lunch?

 

It is certainly a dogs dinner

 

UK charts reveal today that the reason they are not playing number 1 hit 'Liar Liar' is because of an obscure injunction taken out by mysterious Belgian billionaire, M.Duchatalet, who apparently failed to take in who was the target of the song's cheerfull rant. 'I'm sick and tired of these people', he was quoted as saying. 'I gagged the CEO and they still go on and on about it. We've learnt from our mistakes, and they should try writing a song about that. Vinegar pissers!!'

 

The injunction also covers classic tunes such as Communication by Spandau Ballet, Billy Joel's Honesty and Pink Floyd's Keep talking.
When asked about this injunction a Spokesperson for the Club (unsurprisingly) declined to comment, but did point out that season ticket holders have only two days to renew before anybody can buy their seats.
Any fan who finds himself/herself regularly forgetting how many days they have left to renew their season tickets before another fan might pinch their seat can check with the official website.

Want to know anything else? You're out of luck.

 

Charlton owner Roland Duchatelet today posed for pictures under the Sam Bartram statue with Charlton's 10 new signings. The CEO said that the manager had presented the shareholder with his wish-list of players, and Roland had made it his business to make sure that we saw off stiff competition to sign all of them. The manager was said to be "quietly confident" ahead of next season.

 

The Queen has asked Jeremy Corbyn and Jerry Adams to form a coalition government. Adams has agreed on condition that Sinn Fein members are allowed to wear balaclavas in The House.

 

Had to double take at the thread title . Teaches me for popping in whilst working.