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Off Topic The dying Swan ~ Joke thread

Discussion in 'Cardiff City' started by DaiJones, Sep 18, 2018.

  1. DaiJones

    DaiJones Well-Known Member

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  2. DaiJones

    DaiJones Well-Known Member

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  3. ccfcremotesupport

    ccfcremotesupport Well-Known Member

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    Jack and Jill went up the hill
    To fetch a pail of water.
    Jill came down with half a crown
    But not for carrying water.
     
    #143
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  4. ninian opinion

    ninian opinion Well-Known Member

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    What do you call a deaf gynaecologist?

    A lip reader!
     
    #144
    irishbluebird likes this.
  5. ccfcremotesupport

    ccfcremotesupport Well-Known Member

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    Husband Store

    A store that sells new husbands has opened in Melbourne , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

    You may visit this store
    ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

    So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:


    Floor 1
    - These men Have Jobs

    She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:


    Floor 2
    - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.


    'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'
    so she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

    Floor 3
    - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

    'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

    She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:


    Floor 4
    - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.
    'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

    Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:


    Floor 5
    - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

    She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to thesixth floor
    , where the sign reads:

    Floor 6
    - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

    Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. PLEASE NOTE: To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a NewWives storejust across the street. TheFirst Floorhaswives that love sex. TheSecond Floorhas wives that love sex and have money and like beer

    The Third, Fourth, Fifth and Sixth Floors

    have never been visited.
     
    #145
  6. irishbluebird

    irishbluebird Well-Known Member

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #146
    DaiJones and FrankfurterBlue like this.
  7. DaiJones

    DaiJones Well-Known Member

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  8. DaiJones

    DaiJones Well-Known Member

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  9. DaiJones

    DaiJones Well-Known Member

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  10. DaiJones

    DaiJones Well-Known Member

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  11. DaiJones

    DaiJones Well-Known Member

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  12. DaiJones

    DaiJones Well-Known Member

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  13. Oldsparkey

    Oldsparkey Well-Known Member
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    Aston Villa re-launched their new away kit for their fans yesterday - a Stanley knife and baseball bat.
     
    #153
    BluefromBridgend likes this.
  14. DaiJones

    DaiJones Well-Known Member

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  15. DaiJones

    DaiJones Well-Known Member

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  16. DaiJones

    DaiJones Well-Known Member

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  17. DaiJones

    DaiJones Well-Known Member

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  18. DaiJones

    DaiJones Well-Known Member

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  19. DaiJones

    DaiJones Well-Known Member

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  20. FrankfurterBlue

    FrankfurterBlue Well-Known Member

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    Dai.... I WAS going to tell you to give it a rest but then #155 and 156 arrived. Carry on, son! Carry on!
     
    #160
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