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Off Topic The dying Swan ~ Joke thread

Discussion in 'Cardiff City' started by DaiJones, Sep 18, 2018.

Page 77 of 231
  1. BluefromBridgend

    BluefromBridgend Well-Known Member

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    They used me to jack it up. <whistle>
     
    #1521
    BluefromBridgend, May 11, 2022
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  2. ccfcremotesupport

    ccfcremotesupport Well-Known Member

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    <laugh><laugh>
     
    #1522
    ccfcremotesupport, May 11, 2022
  3. BrizzleBluebird

    BrizzleBluebird Well-Known Member

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    You jack bar steward....


    <sorry>
     
    #1523
    BrizzleBluebird, May 11, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, blueturk the cat and clingo like this.
  4. BluefromBridgend

    BluefromBridgend Well-Known Member

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    :emoticon-0172-mooni:emoticon-0173-middl:emoticon-0172-mooni:emoticon-0173-middl
     
    #1524
    BluefromBridgend, May 11, 2022
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  5. clingo

    clingo Well-Known Member

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    We were too busy being paid nowt for working in't mill. So we didn't have time to play football and couldn't afford plastic bottle.
     
    #1525
    clingo, May 11, 2022
  6. FrankfurterBlue

    FrankfurterBlue Well-Known Member

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    Nowt!! Nowt!! We had to pay to work instead mill! !!!
     
    #1526
    FrankfurterBlue, May 11, 2022
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  7. clingo

    clingo Well-Known Member

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    Luxury!
     
    #1527
    clingo, May 11, 2022
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  8. BluefromBridgend

    BluefromBridgend Well-Known Member

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    Tell that to kids today.

    They won't believe you.

    All that slicin' in't two wit' bread knife and dancin' on our grave singin' "Hallelujah"!!!
     
    #1528
    Last edited: May 13, 2022
    BluefromBridgend, May 11, 2022
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  9. DaiJones

    DaiJones Well-Known Member

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    main-qimg-f4298c63a600f3c02113184477895e9e-lq.jpg
     
    #1529
    DaiJones, May 13, 2022
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  10. DaiJones

    DaiJones Well-Known Member

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    TESCO SUN LOUNGER

    281280971_1336453097161716_8100121060851680510_n.jpg
     
    #1530
    DaiJones, May 15, 2022
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  11. DaiJones

    DaiJones Well-Known Member

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    97591131_3091235620965819_729784083973931008_n.jpg
     
    #1531
    DaiJones, May 18, 2022
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  12. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #1532
    Makemstine Roger, May 22, 2022
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  13. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #1533
    Makemstine Roger, May 22, 2022
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  14. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #1534
    Makemstine Roger, May 22, 2022
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  15. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    On their wedding night Paddy sat down with his new wife Mary and said ""we will have a lovely happy life if you never look in the bottom drawer in the chest of drawers in the bedroom"" Mary agreed.
    So after 50 years of Happy married life Mary decided to have a look in the drawer.
    She found 3 golf balls and £200.
    She confronted Paddy about the find.
    Paddy said ""every time I was unfaithful in our marriage I put a golf ball in the drawer""
    Mary was shocked but thought 3 balls, 3 times in 50 years is not so bad..
    She asked Paddy ""what about the £200?""
    Ah said Paddy "" every time I collected 10 balls I sold them for a £5.
     
    #1535
    Makemstine Roger, May 22, 2022
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  16. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    The Pope is having some work done in the vatican. As he is passing one of the carpenters hits his thumb with a hammer
    "Fecking Hell!" he cries.
    The Pope is horrified and tells the carpenter "My son, this is the house of God, such profanities are not appropriate here. If you have hurt yourself in some way you should offer your prayer to our lord Jesus and he will give you relief from your suffering"
    Next day as the Pope is passing the same carpenter chops off his fingers with a saw. "Oh my God! Sweet Jesus please help me now!" says the carpenter.
    With that the fingers levitate themselves and re-attach themselves to the poor carpenter's hand, all the blood disappears and the carpenter wiggles his fingers,
    "Fecking Hell" says the Pope.
     
    #1536
    Makemstine Roger, May 22, 2022
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  17. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    Irish Fishing
    It was raining hard and a big puddle had formed in front of the little Irish pub.
    An old man stood beside the puddle holding a stick with a string on the end and jiggled it up and down in the water.
    A curious visiting gentleman asked what he was doing.
    “Fishing”, replied the old man.
    Poor old fool, thought the gentlemen.
    So, he decided he would invite the old man to have a drink in the pub.
    Feeling he should start some conversation while they were sipping their whiskey, the gentleman asked
    “And, how many have you caught today?”
    “You're the eighth.”
     
    #1537
    Makemstine Roger, May 22, 2022
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  18. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #1538
    Makemstine Roger, May 22, 2022
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  19. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #1539
    Makemstine Roger, May 22, 2022
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  20. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #1540
    Makemstine Roger, May 23, 2022
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